Groundhog Day, Again. in These Foolish Things

And now it’s February. Groundhog Day, even. How fitting.

Still waiting for a covid shot.

Still working myself into a frenzy about this colonoscopy on Thursday. It’s not that I’m worried about the prep or the procedure itself, it’s what they are going to find when they get in there. I’ve now had bleeding issues for two months. No pain, though - just scary and confusing. I will say that I’ve reduced my aspirin intake over the last couple of days and already noticed a difference, so my guess is that taking a full dose 325 mg aspirin on the daily is just taking a toll on my innards.

Even wrote to my carotid dissection group on FB (private group for people who’ve had a carotid artery dissection - some with aneurysm like mine, some have had a stroke because of it) and asked if anyone else has had these issues. And several of them told me that my dosage of 325 mg is waaaaay too high for daily use. I may have broken my butt by trying to be extra cautious about my brain, y’all. The body is built on extremely delicate chemistry.

Had another really vivid dream early this morning because I couldn’t sleep last night as I was sick with worry and needed to get some sleep in so I skipped my workout and fell back to sleep.

In my dream I was in the Capitol building for some meetings and I was trying to get a photo from the rotunda or whatever the entryway is (only know from seeing videos of the people who breached the front door), but it wasn’t working. So I somehow made it to my hotel room where I had to share a room with a total stranger, and that total stranger ended up being a dude who’d stormed the Capitol on January 6th. I recognized him from social media and I was upset that I was put in a room with an insurgent, let alone a freaking dude! So I told my “boss”, who happens to be a friend I’ve been networking with on new opportunities (in real life), and the dude from my hotel room overheard me complaining about him and got really, really close in my face without a mask and was giving me shit.

Wonder where all that came from, hmmmm? Anxious much?

Despite all my worry, I had a pretty good weekend.

Bed early Friday night because Saturday was a long day.

Got up and took the dog to daycare, then rushed home to wash my hair and then raced over to my hair salon for a good, clean trim. Sadly, I can no longer get my hair washed at the salon because I can’t put my neck back in the sink due to my carotid situation. So I always wash my hair and then put it in a turbie twist and go. There goes the best part of getting a haircut.

But I always have a nice time at the salon. Love the woman who cuts my hair. She’s a stunner and always has good stories. This time she had an assistant working with her and they double teamed drying my hair. That was fun.

Then it was off to the store to stock up on grub and colonoscopy prep. Joy.

Then I looked at three different living options.

First was a beautiful highrise that overlooks my fave city park. It’s actually a mere five blocks from my current place, but it’s five blocks into a safer area and the park is always lit (literally and figuratively) and has 24/7 security. The building is a concierge building and it’s super nice. Can I afford it? Well, that’s pushing it, but you get what you pay for.

Then I took a gander at an old-school condo building across from another gorgeous city park that I love to walk. This place is either for rent or sale, clearly in need of a remodel, and the rep admitted that there were a couple of must-haves from my list that the unit did not have: no outdoor space and not much natural light. And WOW. She wasn’t kidding. To put it bluntly, I walked in and felt almost like I wanted to cry and I could feel my mental health actually eroding the further I walked into the space. Oh, it was awful. And I told her that I just couldn’t even think of spending ANY more time in that unit. It was beyond depressing.

And the third building was my old loft building. I always loved that building. In fact, I lived there for over six years back in the day. Moved out only because I was engaged to SexyPants and was moving in with him. I loved that loft building. So much history and so many cool people live there.

But also, it was weird to be in there. I actually felt like I’d outgrown the place as I walked the hallways with the rep. The building was still cool and all, but it felt dingy and almost sad. Here’s something funny: the unit I had with EXMS (my first fiance) is available! The rep asked me if I was interested in moving back into that unit. Oh what a gorgeous place it was, a corner loft, all windows and a sweeping view of the city skyline.

But I felt like I was moving backwards while I walked through. I was completely distracted and found it extremely hard to pay attention to anything the tour guide told me.

I had to leave to pick up the dog at daycare and it was a good excuse to get the hell out of there. I don’t think I can go back to my old loft building.

Met my friend Susan for some drinks at the outdoor dive bar and we stayed until it got dark and chilly. Was so good to catch up. Always soul-soothing to be with another human outside, drink in hand and heart-to-heart convo.

Sunday was brekkie with the fam at the lake, and that’s always good. I feel like I’m in a bit of a good groove by doing breakfast instead of cutting the day into thirds and spending the whole afternoon with them. This way I get home and have most of the afternoon and evening on Sunday to stress myself out about the week ahead (ha. Kidding, sort of).

And now, finishing a BUNCH of stuff at work and putting together reports for my two bosses - Regular Boss (who is the guy you know as Boss in these entries) and then Boss #2, who is a guy who works for the licensing company. I actually have a 3rd boss who works for them as well, but I hope he doesn’t join the zoom. That should take us to the end of the workday. That’s ENOUGH.

Especially because if I stay here too long then the creepy guy who cleans in the evenings comes over and annoys me. I stayed a couple hours late last night and he kept peeking over my walk (ew) and asking me questions. Finally, I looked at him and literally said, “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”. He got the message. I don’t want to see him tonight.

Okay, blood pressure feels high after my last two paragraphs. I better go and do a quick meditation to get my head back in the right place.

Tomorrow is PREP DAY. I’m sure I’ll have some shit to say about that…ha.

Until then,
GS