Heavy heart but Happy Thoughts in Change is Brewing
- Jan. 15, 2021, 7:32 a.m.
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- Public
Why is it when our hearts are heavy, only then we find the need to write? I’m the main culprit but I see everyone else on this site doing it too. I understand that it is a release of emotion and it helps, but after reading “The subtle art of not giving a fuck”, I’ve come to realize that we’re only doing ourselves a disadvantage. We constantly entertain the negative thoughts and the positive happy days get pushed under the rug. What happens when you read back on all you’ve written and find that its nothing but sadness and heart ache? How do we view our pasts when all we remember and fixate on is our problems?
Its been a particularly heavy morning today. I had some pent up emotions that I wasn’t able to deal with before bed and as a result, I woke up balling my eyes out. There was a beautiful occurrence that came out of this and rather then focusing on why I felt that way in this entry, I want to focus on the positive way that I dealt with it so one day when I read back on these entries I can feel proud of myself and the growth that happened all in a few hours.
I love my family make no mistake, but with all the partners and second, third or fourth additions of outside families being married in, I feel like we’ve completely lost the essence of being a family at the core. We’re so busy trying to include everyone that we forget to check in with those that matter most. It has gone on for months, if not years and my cup finally overflowed with emotion and pure disconnect. Wanna know how I dealt with it? I was honest, all cards on the table, and it was possibly the most difficult thing I’ve ever done but I feel so free from myself now.
My thoughts have changed and I’m no longer thinking “you deserve what you get” but rather “we are all human and we can get lost sometimes”. It only takes a little bit of honesty to those around you and most importantly, yourself.
I’m trying really hard to make the change and I can’t wait for my next entry to be a happy one.
Last updated January 15, 2021
sashashares ⋅ January 15, 2021
Reading your first sentences and the book, I really think that we're on the same page. I may realize my mistake but it's so hard to accept and make an action for it because i always remember the wrongs that have been done to me too. Or maybe because of the pride. Anyways, i hope we can all get our happy entry soon!