For Customer Use Only in Just Jane

Why do I find it so hard to get up the gumption to write in here? And why do I begin so many entries with "why do I find it so hard to get up the gumption to write in here?"?

Declan's party was really nice. We had about 19 people so the 25 person capacity room I rented fit perfectly. I made him a storyboard made up of chronological pictures of his 1st year. That was on display, as well as a 2x6 banner that I had made. It had more pictures of him and turned out really well.

R made his smash cake: banana cake with peanut butter frosting-dairy free and a small amount of Agave syrup. He went crazy for it--would have eaten the whole thing if we let him.

The adult cake was ridiculously delicious. We took extras home and I ended up having to throw out the last 8 servings of my side of the cake (chocolate) because I seriously would have eaten them all by the end of the weekend.

Our friend L got him a Mickey Mouse school bus ride on toy which he loves. He can get off of it but doesnt know how to get on yet and really doesnt have a desire to. He's happier just pushing it around for now. He also got several trucks (he's into anything with wheels right now), a helicopter that does some pretty cool things, some books, a Thomas the Tank Engine train (I was so hoping we could avoid an attachment to Thomas, for I find him almost as annoying as Barney) and blocks. He definitely has more toys than he knows what to do with now. I'm wondering if its time to pack up some of the older ones that he is starting to outgrow.

We were able to get him to sleep at his normal time, but then apparently the sugar from the cake kicked in and he was up with R for hours.

We've been going on outings at parks lately. Last weekend we took a picnic to Sawgrass and did some walking. Saw lots of birds and several baby gators. This past weekend we went to Weedon Island--saw more birds and a couple tortoises (tortis?). We went up to the observation deck which overlooks part of the water and is surrounded by trees and vegetation. We watched the kayakers there and Declan had a good time lurching (holding on to things) and crawling everywhere. We stopped and got lunch first and just ate quickly in the car. It was nice to get a good amount of walking in.

As an aside, when I was in Taco Bell getting my lunch, I noticed one of those hand sanitizer things on the wall between the ordering counter and the soda fountain. It had a sign on it that said "For customer use only". I started envisioning people coming in: "No, no I'm not ordering anything-just want to use your hand sanitizer". WTF?

My birthday is in 5 days. I am going to be 40. 40 with a 1-year old. Sometimes it makes me feel younger;sometimes I really feel my age. R finally asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. I dont know if he's planning something or if its truly snuck up on him. I always envisioned having a big party (preferably a surprise) but having a baby didnt factor into it, so I imagine it will be low key. I would love to go get a massage and a pedicure, if I could find someone that I knew wouldnt be shocked at what a mess my feet are.

I am writing this entry from work, so I must get back to it. I might be really disillusioned and "checked out" with my job right now, but I have to remind myself that it pays the bills and that is really important.