Practicalities in Juggling with Hedgehogs

My friends have all been telling me to boot him out, change the locks, get on to the divorce lawyers and get on with my life. It's easy for them to say all that, they're not me, they don't feel what I'm feeling, and it's all cut and dried and black and white, and simple as anything to their logical brains.

My brain has not been very logical, but the new tablets are helping me to at least feel numb enough to not be on the emotional rollercoaster any more, and to just think clearly about what to do. I was hoping we could maybe give things another go, but he is absolutely adamant that the relationship is 100% over, so all we have to do now is sort out the practicalities.

This is going to be the tough part. Mainly for him, as he's going to have to find somewhere to store all his shit. He has so much musical equipment - we have a double garage and it's completely FULL. Also, there's a motorbike trailer on our drive that he bought but never used. He hasn't used it because he doesn't have a towbar. I told him today it's got to go. It's taking up space on the driveway, it's an eyesore, and I want it gone.

I'm going to have to get the house valued, talk to my dad about selling it (he owns it outright), and maybe getting a smaller place. Maybe selling both houses and getting a place together - but all of this stuff takes time, and I don't know how I'm going to manage financially in the interim. It's quite scary. I have thought about maybe renting out a room here. My daughter's room is large and lovely, and although she hasn't emptied it, it wouldn't take long to clear it, set up a bed in there, and make it look lovely for a lodger. Or I could take in foreign students over the summer - this is quite a common little earner for people living in this area. The colleges pay a fixed rate per student, and you can have several if you have the room. It's a very easy way to make a bit of extra money with minimal work. So that's another possible option.

But in terms of sorting out the finances, and splitting everything - I honestly don't know where to start with any of that. I need to keep up my Denplan payments - dental costs can be enormous and my dentist is brilliant. I want to keep up my gym membership, but suspect that will have to go - but that wouldn't be the end of the world, there are plenty of pay-as-you-go gyms around, and if I have the house mostly to myself, I could workout at home anyway - so not a massive thing, just a want. There are other things that he pays for that I have no clue about the cost on a monthly basis, so I'm going to need a run-down on all of that, and work out how much this is going to cost me until I can get the house sold.

I expect my son will continue to stay here - at least for a while - and he's a financial drain. I'm going to have to talk to him about helping out more and maybe buying some of the food. I can live very cheaply on my own food-wise, but as he tends to come and go very randomly, I'll probably have to have stuff in for him to sort himself out when he's here. It's going to be a bit tricky, but some parts of me are actually looking forward to it.

I'm just so sad that it's come to this after everything we've gone through - and at the same time, a part of me is starting to harden up and become detached. It could be the tablets helping me to do that, but I'll take whatever I can get at the moment. At least he has finally made his mind up that he's going. I'm going to be setting a deadline once I can figure out how to manage financially. I really don't want him lingering here, because that's just torture.