Loneliness in That Coming of Age Story

So I found something out recently that got me thinking...let me explain. The guy that I previously was having a friends with benefits thing recently got a girlfriend. It kind of sucked when I found out. I mean I don't have any desire to date him, because he is a good friend and I am not into him that way. The news just made me look at myself and wish I had a person to care for me. He really enjoys being in his relationship and all of my friends have found someone to care for them.

I guess I am feeling alone. Loneliness is a problem that most people face from time to time, but I tend to feel it a lot. I look at my life and I am happy overall. I sometimes feel some emptiness and I tell myself I don't want what other people have, but I secretly do.

This is my personal journal so I can admit to that on here. I want someone to care for me. Someone to laugh and have fun with. Someone to hold me at night.

I feel like I am solely an object of lust. A lot of guys would be fine with having sex with me, but that is not what I want. I want a committed relationship. I have only had sex with one person and I intend to keep it that way until I have a boyfriend.

I guess I am tired of waiting for me to find someone. I don't mean to sound whiny. I mean I don't feel like having a boyfriend is really that important. It's not the title of being someone's girlfriend that I want. I want the companionship and the love.

I have never really had that special connection with anyone. I wish I could. I want to be able to say that I love someone.

I don't know...pfft...I am just venting right now. I sound so whiny and pathetic. I don't mean to sound that way, but those are my feelings whether I like them or not.

Last updated April 17, 2014