OD heartache in oh, hello.

So I've just had a cry cos OD doesn't exist. And no this is not news to me.. I'm just being a sad sack. Is it crazy that every now and then I type the address in just in the slightest hope that it's miraculously back up and running? I hope not cos GUILTY.. I just want it back. I took it for granted in the last couple of years and I wish I hadn't. It was the only place I wrote and was 100% honest. I don't write anymore.. Not here or my other blog or tumblr or even twitter really. It's just not the same. I wish I could write cos there's a lot going on in my mind that I never have a chance to get out anymore. It's exhausting keeping it all in. Thoughts and feelings that don't make sense, things I want to say to people but don't have the guts, my deepest and darkest secrets that were only safe in private OD entries.. They're all floating around up in my mind now. You can only subtweet so many times and what's the point if the people they're to or about will never read them or are too dumb to know what a subtweet is and that it's about them. Maybe I should try to make a habit of writing here everyday til I'm back in the swing of things. It's just really hard. I don't cope well with change. And fuck knows who will read my entries here.. We shall see I guess. xx