I wrote a sad and selfish entry a while ago. I was whining about all kinds of things that I actually have control over. Just the general feeling sorry for myself stuff. I thought about it after posting and decided to make the entry private rather than delete it. I mean, I don’t know if I’ll go back and read it, but it is where I am right now and I need to snap out of it.
Bottom line is, today is September 11th and I won’t ever forget where I was and what I was doing when the planes hit the towers of the World Trade Center in New York and then we discovered there were planes bound for other locations as well.
I was at work, prepping for my business trip to New York the next day. My phone kept ringing and it was a man I’d scheduled a meeting with on either the 12th or the 13th of September. His wife was in one of the towers and he kept trying to call her on his cell phone but he couldn’t get through to her.
He called me several times that day as he walked the blocks to go home from his office, each call getting more frantic and finally - the last phone call was to tell me that his wife had made it - she was okay!! I cant even imagine how he was feeling at that very moment, but I could hear and feel the relief in his voice.
What a day that was - and the days that followed were something like PTSD, even though I didn’t live in New York and I didn’t personally know anyone who died that day (though I knew a couple of other survivors!). The world has never been the same.
It’s funny how I feel similar feelings these days. For some reason, if I hear a certain song or smell a certain scent, my mind is stuck somehow on when we first went into lockdown. I remember how that feeling was strangely the same feelings I had during the days following 9/11. Like, are we still under attack? Is something else about to happen? Are we all going to die? IS THIS HOW IT ENDS?!
Am I weird?