Over, done with, gone in Juggling with Hedgehogs
- April 8, 2014, 7:59 p.m.
- |
- Public
Rather than hang about hoping my husband will see sense, and try to work things out with me (he won't, all his language, including his body language, says there's no way), I've called it quits tonight.
I had a long chat with a Samaritan this evening. I have been having suicidal thoughts, very serious ones, and yesterday I did a mental coin toss regarding whether or not to go to Beachy Head and chuck myself off, or see the doctor. I decided if I could get a doctor's appointment, the doctor would win, and that's what happened. He signed me off work for 2 weeks and put me on anti-depressants.
All the talking we did just went around in circles, but tonight, talking to the Samaritan, I realised something. I don't have to wait for him to figure out what he wants, I can decide for myself what I DON'T want. And I don't want to be hurt any more.
So I figured out an elegant solution, which I hope will work for us both, and tonight I told him we're over.
More tomorrow.
Daisy Mae ⋅ April 08, 2014
I am so gutted for you. And so angry. {{Hugs}}
Sapphire ⋅ April 09, 2014
Don't know what to say. But yes, you have to do what's right for you .. Not wait for him to make a decision and extend your pain. Just stay safe x
Songbird3 ⋅ April 09, 2014
It's a big step for you to decide what' s best for you instead of allowing someone else that control. I wish you all the best moving forward.
Lepetit pumpkinesque ⋅ April 09, 2014
Deleted user ⋅ April 10, 2014
Aw. I haven't been reading in a while. I'm so sorry younger going through such a hard time. this too shall pass. Sending you big hugs.