I’ve considered this guy a friend for almost 20 years. He’s selfish, he uses others for his own gain, he’s a show off, and an alcoholic. But, he helped me though some very difficult times though my life.
He’s done a lot of shitty things but he’s also helped me a lot over the years in his own way. About a year and a half ago was when the straw broke the camels back for me. I had lost my papaw two weeks prior and my granny was currently lying in the funeral home.
I had invited him down for the visitation and to be a pallbearer because he had known her. And I didn’t think he would mind to help out during this time. The visitation was fine. My Mom and Dad had decided to spend the night with me, my buddy, his girlfriend, and my girl friend. We had a full house.
The visitation was on new years eve. Him being the alcoholic he is, decided that he had to get drunk and put on a show in front of my family. That’s who he is, drunk P. T. Barnum… “Step right up, and watch the asshole show…”
We watched him drink himself into a stupper, while we were all in morning.
Next day comes around and he left before the rest of us, and we all meet at the funeral home. He does his duty at the funeral. After we get my granny to the cemetery some of her cousins were going to have a dinner in her honer. I ask him and his girlfriend if they would like to go. He says he can’t he has to get back to the city for some sort of party or something. It’s not that I cared that he had to be other places. It’s the fact that I needed a friend at the time. I felt like I had gotten thrown under the bus for a shitty party no one likely remembers.
It bothers me that I’ve always been “ol reliable.” He’s said it many times that I’ve always been the guy that could come though. To me the favor wasn’t repaid. All I ask was one thing and that was too much.
Fast forward to the last month:
His girlfriend’s birthday is coming up, he’s been begging me to come to the party. I told him I couldn’t make it about three weeks ago. This morning I awoke to find a text sent at like 1 AM. His girlfriend had been asking about me and he thought that I should reconsider coming to her party.
Side Story:
I ask them to come to my birthday the last two years and they declined. Actually I’ve only seen her once, and I’ve seen him twice in the last 18 months. Also I had other friends decline because they thought he was going to be there.
Back to the future:
I don’t like to feel this way. I keep blaming myself for even inviting him to be a pallbearer. I’ve known he was an alcoholic, and I should have known what he was going to do. It’s kind of like telling a pissed off wasp not to sting. It’s going to sting no matter how much you wish it wouldn’t.
I’ve always been the forgive and forget type of fella. I’ve let things slide over the last 20 or so years. Hell, if I didn’t let things slide sometimes I wouldn’t have any friends… Life is too short to hold on to bullshit.
I sorta want to go the party this weekend. But more to see everyone and celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday.
My girlfriend hates him, actually all my friends hate him which I guess speaks volumes. But I know she isn’t going to go to the party if I end up going. Then that leads to questions about why she isn’t with me, then shit starts to snowball. I hate answering questions like that and trying to stay courteous.
I’d like to forgive and forget but I’m not sure I can on this one. I mean I’m sorta pissed off / hurt just writing this… But on the other hand I kind of miss the guy I thought of as a brother…
Anyway, what’s your guy’s thought’s?
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