I know I’ve written about this before… well, I don’t know, it just feels like something I’ve bitched about before, but I just cannot believe it. I find it absolutely astonishing because I’d never be able to get away with anything. Now, I know it’s going to seem like I’m looking down on my family, and maybe I am, but to be honest, I have been held to a higher standard that I have consistently met with grace, dignity and a horribly shitty attitude because it’s un-fucking-fair.
I am the only one of my family to graduate from university. My mother got close, she just kept failing her math classes so she gave up in the 90s. Neither my step-father or brothers have completed college, I think each of them went to community college for a little bit before deciding to go straight to work. I’m not necessarily saying that that’s bad, but there is a point here.
Now, my middle brother has gotten a job working for the Human Resources department of the city. He started out as a meter maid but they invited him to apply for the HR position. In order to complete the application, he had to write a training manual… which he had no idea how to do, so my mother did it. He did know the policies or whatever, but he didn’t know how to type it out in a proper format.
Since the virus shutdown everything, he works at my mother’s house every day and she occasionally helps him with his work when he has to type up documents and stuff. My mother doesn’t work anymore. She did for a bit but decided it was too stressful. Good for her.
My step-father is a department manager at the city (in a different department than my brother, although today he did call him for help). Today my mother was on the phone with him because he has to do his employee evaluations. He didn’t know how to write them, so my mother sat on the phone all morning writing them for him. She kept trying to explain the rubric to him because had forwarded her the instructions on what format they wanted and he didn’t understand.
If I needed this kind of help, I would get laughed at. I remember when I started teaching and I worried about finding a space or place to do it, my mother told me that maybe I chose the wrong career path and I should go back to moving boxes for Amazon.
I’m not really mad, I just can’t seem to get past the fact that I’ve jumped through every hoop they’ve put in front of me and I get absolutely no respect. Whatever, I’ve known it for years but today was just a gentle reminder that I am “less than”.