I need to punch somebody real quick in Everyday happenings

Today I trying my best, I can say that yes, just some people keep pissing me off. They are not my parents but my younger sister is really prone to making scathing remarks but I love her all the same so its kinda fine but not the same with my “friends”. Srsly sometimes I feel like I have wasted all this time on worthless friendship that didn’t even needed that much of emotional investment. Those whom I call my friends really make me question my decisions for still keeping them in contact, I feel like I should block them away for a week or so and not give a shit. And I have done that with one person before and yes it was kind of healing for me but I have this very annoying personality trait that is I feel guilty very easily for my actions and my words; but that doesn’t that mean if I am unwilling to say something in order to not be mean you will fcking walk all over me!!! And oh goodness, but that is how it is. Because of their actions, I instead of setting things straight, I hurt myself deep inside my mind and assume stuff etc, I implode my emotions and in the end burst out on my family, which is wrong cause they didn’t do anything wrong. At least not this time.
I feel just so done with all of them right now, as if all of my irritation of 4 years is coming out and I am glad it is because I need to get it out of my system. They just don’t seem to get me, understand me and it goes both ways. I feel like we are growing more apart, even if I talk to some of my everyday friends I just can’t seem to get myself be honest, it’s almost like talking to some stranger about weather of the day. I really hate it, it is emotionally draining and it is not something I want.
I want friends with whom I feel comfortable, those I trust and reveal my secrets to, those who understand me, those whom I can be honest with, after all that is what friendship is all about right? That is what friends are for? Am i asking for too much here?