The Mashed Potato Scale. in Open Diary.

I did not invent the concept of mashed potatoes to describe the numbness/neutralness of depression. However, I have expanded on it as a shorthand for my mental state, as opposed to a numerical scale.

Do you like mashed potatoes? I do, done right. Now, imagine everything tastes like mashed potatoes. Grilled cheese? Might as well be mashed potatoes. Popcorn? Like mashed potatoes. Ice cream? Mashed potatos. Corn on the cob? Mashed potatos.

Your favorite movie? It’s okay, but it doesn’t spark joy like it should - just more mashed potatoes. Showering or not showering? Feel the same either way. Sunny day or rainy day? Both are mashed potatoes. Hopefully you get it. It’s not really bad - but also not particularly good.

Thus I personally use two other terms to describe my mental state: mushrooms, and tacos. (I know, more food - but taste-feels are easy to relate to.) My dislike mental as well as physical. I don’t want to injest a fungus, and the taste and texture throw me off. Feel free to think of your culinary arch-nemesis, your taste buds may vary.

Feeling like mushrooms is far, far worse than mashed potatoes. Whether it is sadness, or anger, or a panic attack, nothing helps. A perfect slice of pizza might as well be a can of mushrooms. A good wank can’t shake anxiety. A good movie feels like mushrooms. Being awake is mushrooms, trying to sleep is mushrooms.

It is worse than ‘meh”, it is “please make it stop’.

In the upper range is tacos. I could sing songs on my love of tacos. Now, this upper range is NOT happy mania (for me). For me, the good feels good and maybe I retain good taco buzz for a bit. The routine barely registers on your radar. Dishes? Showering? Pants? No biggie - there will be tacos in my future. A negative stimulus? Can cognitively recognize it, but it will roll off you. As there are tacos - hope!

The meh task of laundry? I can dangle a taco like playing a video game in front of me. Cleaning the kitchen? The taco of literally having a clean kitchen. Could zone out on facebook, but the taco of satisfaction from writing sounds better.

Again, I don’t see myself forming a numerical scale that would be consistent upon comparing days. Most days I’m slightly above mashed potatoes. I had a moment of slight taco when the Star Trek: Lower Decks trailer dropped. I woke up this morning below mashed. But, can’t be too bad if I have an iota of hope that my mood will shift.

Anyway, just wanted to jot this down in cause I use these three terms as shorthand for how I am feeling in the fabric of space-time.