Houses & memories in 2020

  • July 7, 2020, 10:14 a.m.
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  • Public

We got back from Florida today. I really wanted to write while I was there, but I had little to no time alone and also I didn’t take my laptop and didn’t feel up to typing an entry on my phone.

It was a great trip overall. The wedding was beautiful, and there were only about 20-25 people there (four families all together) so I don’t think we risked too much exposure. I’m debating seeing if I can get a COVID test this week just in case, but we’ll see.

My sister basically moved in with her new husband J while they were in quarantine. I knew she was going to, but it was just weird because we stayed in her old house and I wondered if it’s the last time I’ll be there. My sister and her husband (who passed away in 2009) built that house I want to say twenty or so years ago, and I have so many memories there - holidays and family events, and lots of just hanging out spending time with my nieces while they were growing up. Good memories, like when we had my dad’s 70th birthday party there a few days before my wedding; sad memories, like holding my sister while she sobbed the day her husband died. My nieces are really struggling with the idea of her selling the house, but it’s pretty inevitable - J lives an hour north of where her house is, and his sons live in the same neighborhood with their families, while my sister’s girls live in Seattle and Vegas, and neither have any intention of moving back to Florida to live. But I get why they’re sad, and I’m a little sad too. I have to remind myself it’s just a house. We’ll always have the memories, even if someone else is living there.

Moroseness aside, we had a really nice time. We didn’t go out much, the wedding was at J’s house on July 3 and then we went back up there for the 4th to eat wedding leftovers and light up fireworks. My nieces and I did go to the beach yesterday morning, but it was kind of crowded so we didn’t stay too long. I was happy to get my toes in the sand though!

J’s house is beautiful. The house is just an average Florida house, but he’s some kind of plant whisperer - his yard is absolutely gorgeous, and it backs up on a canal with a little dock so we got to do some kayaking while we were there. J is just a few years older than my sister, but he had his kids pretty young so his sons are actually just a few years younger than me, and his grandkids are about the age of my kids. I like his family, they’re from Long Island so they’re loud and funny and a little chaotic, but overall I felt like they meshed really well with our family.

There were a lot of people who wanted to come for the wedding but just couldn’t travel (including one of our brothers), so we set up a private FB group and Rob livestreamed it. I officiated, I got ordained online a few years ago to perform a friend’s wedding and my sister thought that was cool so she asked me to do theirs too. It was a quick, uncomplicated ceremony, followed by lunch and hanging out under a big tent in the back yard. The only thing that would have made it better would have been less humidity!

I’m sure I’m forgetting details, but I’m pretty tired today and I’ll be working nearly every day this week so I’m anticipating being more tired until I get some rest. The virus numbers really have me down too, DragonCon announced today that they are going to be online only this year and Sophie’s therapist just emailed that she was exposed to someone with COVID ten days ago so her appointment will be virtual this week. Things just feel…flat. I’m sure I’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.


Honor July 07, 2020

It sounds like a lovely, meaningful trip! I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I hope no one goes down with illness.

Calicakes July 11, 2020

Where does J live? How soon after your BIL died, did your sis meet him? Not sure if you saw, but my BIL died on May 24th and my sister is a mess. Sobbing on the phone, every single night to me. Its awful.

Adira Calicakes ⋅ July 11, 2020

He lives in North Port and she met him almost two years ago. It’s been nearly 11 years since her husband died. I’m so sorry for your sister :(

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