Today was a better day, a little. SP was my first thought this morning and that made me cry a little and I had a few bouts during the day, but it was also a very busy day and that helped. Not like any of the other days weren't or haven't been busy (I actually should have been working harder!), but today I tried to keep my focus and composure.
I had several things that needed to be worked on and answered and finished. I did some sloppy work, but got most done. Embarrassingly, I'm fairly proud of the fact that I got even most stuff done, but whatever. I'm cutting myself some slack.
Guess what? That primo Director position I want? I'm INTERVIEWING for it tomorrow morning! That's right! I have a freaking interview for my dream job! At least, it's the definition of my dream job - I know it's a tough one because I am quite familiar with the company (my former employer), but I am really getting excited about the possibilities!
Now, I also know not to get my hopes up too much. I don't really need any more disappointments in my life right now, but at least it's something to look forward to. It's keeping my brain occupied right now anyway. If I don't get it, I certainly can't let it spiral me down further, ya dig?
Still, I'm quite pleased to be given the opportunity to interview and I think it's saying something that the executive team remembers me and spoke highly of me. Highly enough to bring me in to say hello again.
Spoke with Marci - she's my friend who I actually recommended for her position at previous company. She wishes me the best of luck and gave me a little bit of inside scoop. Again, we shall see. I hope I'm ready for this. And of course, I will be.
Oh! And another (weirdly) good couple of things - at least for my sad, bruised ego: I dressed up like I normally do every day, but today I got three flirts before work even started! First, at the Starbucks, guy stopped for me to cross in front of him in the parking lot. I thanked him with a smile, and he said, "...anyone with legs like that..." with a grin and it made me laugh and kinda blush and feel pretty good. Next, at the gas station getting gas. Guy comes up to me and my car with the top down and wanted to know about what I do when it rains and got all silly and flirty and made me blush again. Lastly, pulling OUT of the parking lot, a guy played a funny game of chicken with me and then fake-gallantly let me drive through with the biggest smile I've seen in a long, long time.
Sadly, it's the little things, but I'm taking ALL of them. They're mine...real or not, I'm claiming them!
I've been getting some good advice from friends and I keep doing my searching online for self-help and any kind of answers to my issues. While Googling something along the lines of "Why do I always pick the wrong guys" I came across this very old article, but I found it useful, so here it is:
http://www.nytimes.com/1982/01/18/style/the-pattern-of-picking-the-wrong-partner.html
It's prompting me to write an entry comparing/contrasting and finding all of the similarities of the following loves of my life:
- Ray - my first boyfriend ever
- Sam - my college boyfriend
- Jeff - my post-college/pre-career boyfriend
- David - the mental abuser
- Bryan - Ex-Fiance #1, the kinda physical abuser
- SexyPants (because I don't want to put his name here) - Ex-Fiance #2
I'm getting sleepy and need to get some rest before the big interview tomorrow. Please wish me luck!! Nobody knows about this but Marci and now you.
I love you!
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