I’m slowly rediscovering my motivation to study in school. It’s coming back, slowly, but surely. This evening was the first time that I really sad down to make a study guide since moving to my new place. It brought back so many memories of being back in my old apartments with Clayton. I would be studying and he’d come in to chat, or give me a kiss, or I’d go out to the living room to say ‘hi’ while grabbing some water. It’s weird how much can change in a year.
I was kind of angry as those memories were running through my head. I remember asking him before going back to school “I’ll be really busy when I go back to school. You promise you won’t leave me?” And his response was “I promise.”
What a load of shit—just like the vows he made on our wedding day.
I lost so much respect for him. And I guess I’m angry because I felt like I was treated unfairly. But thank the lawd, good riddance. I’m honestly better off without that bastard who’s both ugly on the outside and inside. I had to lose him to realize it.
After starting my Radiology program and realizing all of the possible career paths I can take, I’m realizing that everything truly happens for a reason, at the right place, at the right time. No matter what happens or who I am with, I need to trust the process. I already had no regrets about getting my Bachelors degree in Marketing since it just made me a better student when going back to school. But now I’m grateful to have that degree, because I realized that I will have so many more opportunities to go into Administration, Education, or even a Masters degree for Radiologist Assistant or Radiation. I know I previously wanted to go into this career to be in a more stress free job, where I have the opportunity to go part-time so that I can be more available for family—but that was with Clayton, who can barely take care of himself (eff’ing child). Apparently, along with never growing up, he also never grew a pair. BUT I digress.
Knowing me, I have the drive to continue reaching for more. And yes, I want to make sure that I prioritize family; all the while, this is my chance to really go for more. This really is a restart on my life. I’m really excited about what’s to come.
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