The In-Laws in Life Lessons
- June 16, 2020, 1 p.m.
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- Public
Another struggle here.... So my dads parents passed away and my dad inherited the house - its 50+ years old so needs some good TLC! He is letting us rent it for free and pay for all the remodeling we want to do!
My Fiance is living in it now, his family will come to visit about once a month and stay with him!
here is where it gets difficult: His family is very much about having dogs in the house - my family is not…
His family has 2 inside dogs - one is very large, that they bring with them everywhere. Before they came me and my fiance had a discussion about how I didn’t want dogs in my house where my future kids will be, he agreed and told his family that we have decided together not to have dogs in the house especially on the carpet and they said ok we understand, he told them they could stay crated on the tile - when I went over there, both dogs were running loose in the house and the big one peed on the carpet twice…
He talked to them again after and said we don’t want them loose in the house and they were kinda rude about it and told him fine then we just won’t come visit since we cant bring our dogs in.
They came this weekend and left the big one on a chain outside but left the little one running loose in the house… So I guess I don’t know how to handle it? Do we compromise and let the little one stay? I guess I just feel it’s our house we can make our rules… but maybe I’m not being fair…
Also, he moved to where I live (3 hours from his family) and we both feel like this is a good spot for us (I have a 6 year old brother that I’m practically a second mom to and he’s heartbroken enough that I’m moving around the corner) and his family is always telling him he’s being stupid and if I won’t move back with him then I don’t love him, and they are always finding him jobs there and trying to convince him to move back…
We are getting married in August outside in the evening and he is going to wear a suit coat (that has been the plan this whole time) while groomsmen wear vests and just this weekend his mom said oh well it will be too hot for him so he probably won’t wear the coat (He’s also a firefighter so he can tolerate heat) and he doesn’t have a problem with the coat…
I try to include his mom in the wedding planning and ask her opinions and she always just tells me it’s my wedding and not up to her or she will rub in how hers was just small and planned in a month… she tells my fiance that I won’t include her in anything and she’s not gonna push in…
There was one time when me and my fiance had planned to go see his family (every time we go they make my fiance go out and work on their projects in the shop) and something came up where we had a free trip to Colorado to see my family (we had talked about going but it hadn’t worked out) and he called his mom and told her what we were thinking (go to Colorado then go see his family the next weekend) she flipped out and cried and told him he shouldn’t choose me over his family and she should just disown him and they couldn’t afford to pay bills unless he fixed their truck so they could sell it (they bought an old truck and my fiance and his dad were fixing it up to sell) the weekend after we went to see his family and my fiance worked the whole weekend, got the truck fixed and they still to this day have it… I feel like they only want him to come work, and they try to guilt him into it…
I guess I just don’t know what to do… it’s making things hard on me and my fiance…
mrsckugs ⋅ June 16, 2020
Have you been to the Just No MIL feed in reddit? I'd go there and ask.