I’ve decided to take the rest of the week to take care of myself as if I were on summer vacation. In fact, the last week of summer vacation, so I need to savor it!
Though I have been walking around with a permanent lump in my throat for days now, it has helped me to put myself in a kind of enjoy-myself-before-work-starts-back mode since I’ll be going back to work starting Monday.
Am I ready? Sure. This stint of unemployment was SO MUCH DIFFERENT than the last stint where I was dating and going out and traveling and enjoying the fuck out of my time, knowing that I’d eventually get a great job if I work hard enough. This time there has been so much angst and fear and frustration knowing that we are in the midst of a global pandemic and the possibility of a better, more badass position was just not really a likelihood. In fact, the possibility of ANY job was questionable.
And then, who’d have known we’d have racially-motivated protests that would lead to RIOTS and looting and I’d be the victim of aggravated robbery right next door to my apartment and another dude would subject me to an absolutely TERRIFYING situation? Who would have thought?
And of course, NO travel or fun. No Getting Away From It All… . It has truly been nothing but anxiety and fear, so taking this week to just mentally prep is helping.
This morning I drove myself and the dog to a different entrance to the city trail - one that was a change to our normal path from the front steps of my apartment. The walk was fantastic - meditative, even. I also used the walk to scout out possible new homes that are further away from the city center, and in an area that is much safer and comfortable for me. Don’t get me wrong, I know that crime can happen anywhere, but at least it’s away from where things are more likely to happen.
Then I took myself to a patio lunch. Martini sat across from me and I had a salad and a skinny margarita and it felt so decadent and vacation-like! That was very, very nice.
Now I’m home and about to hop in the shower and put on something cute to relax in and maybe watch a little more Insecure, which I have been binge watching since Sunday evening. LOVING IT.
So, the things that are making me nervous right now are as follows:
Where my next home will be. Can I even get out of my lease? If I have to do it the traditional way it will be insanely expensive…like, 3 months rent!
After I went to Best Bud’s over the weekend, she called me last night to tell me that her husband has been exposed to Covid by a co-worker. Her husband had a test and should get results back tomorrow. I was not ever close to him, but I was close to her at a few points during my visit. Will be waiting for word from her. Ugh. Nailbiter because that means that I won’t be able to visit my parents this weekend.
Boss has been texting me about coming back to work next week. I’m annoyed for the most part because I can tell he’s anxious! I don’t think anything’s been done, and on the one hand, that’s good, but on the other hand, I am prepping to be buried in work next week.
Must keep up with the job hunt as well as apartment hunt as well as man hunt… so many things up in the air!
After writing all of this down, I’m actually feeling quite excited about so many new chapters to come! I’ve got my work cut out for me, don’t I?
Last updated June 09, 2020