Poem: Mummy... in Life In The Now.

I’m on my knees, holding my ears.
Those domestic screams are going to haunt me for years.
Funny how it always depended on the amount of beers.
Raise a glass and WAHEY! - It was never just ‘cheers!’

I wish I knew what you were you doing.
Instead, all I knew was that feeling – ‘a storm’s brewing.’
You would grip me and I’d tell you I was alright.
But really, I’d be crying all night.

Shhhhh, a thick hand placed over my mouth.
“It’s okay, it’s okay – mummy didn’t scream.”
“Now - go back to sleep and dream.”

Every morning sitting and knowing it’s not right.
Every morning, walking with my hand held tight.
How much strength did it take for you to walk away?
How much strength did it take for you to lie to me about him, every birthday?

I remember more than I am supposed to.…
I remember the arguments when ‘it’s the time of our lives’ played.
And I remember the time I picked up those knives.
Mummy, did I save our lives?…

Last updated May 15, 2020