A Few Bulleted Updates in These Foolish Things

Every time I start writing an entry I do so with the intention of following up the next day to talk about how I’d followed through with my plans. I just had to go back to my last entry to see where I left off and I see I never updated from LAST SATURDAY (May 2nd). It’s now May 10th and I can’t believe how much has happened since then - even in quarantine!

So maybe I can just bullet out some of the things and see if I can remember what’s happened:

• Went to Best Bud’s SIL’s house for a backyard semi-BBQ last weekend and it was quite nice. I think they could use a tiny bit more structure with their social distancing, but all-in-all it was an outdoors-only and safe event. Even my doctor was there (not the doctor I am still slightly in love with, mind you, buy my primary care physician who is also a good friend and who is also gay).

• Asked said doctor about maybe getting a Covid-19 antibody test and he said to let his office know and he’d set it up. So, my follow-up to that is that I’m going on this Tuesday morning to get the test. I’m nervous. I REALLY hope that it shows I’ve had it so I can be a little less nervous about all of this Corona bullshit (and yes, I know that having antibodies doesn’t mean that I couldn’t get it again, but at least I’d know that I had it and would probably never get it as severely as that early February crazy illness). But, of course, if no antibodies show up I’m just back in the same boat as I am right now, so I need not stress too much about it. Just glad that I can get in to get the test done

• As of last weekend I had been texting with a couple of possible dating app guys, but they seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Dating pre-Covid was bad enough. Dating during a global pandemic just doesn’t seem to be gaining any traction. NOBODY wants to even begin to get to know anyone new and I get it. Still, I find it interesting that I have actually been able to open up a bit to someone VERY far away that I haven’t yet met in person. I don’t understand why a person who lives so close in proximity wouldn’t want to try to text a bit before meeting - OR would even be open to a video chat maybe? How hard is that?? IT’S NOT! Could it be my location? Am I going to have to move? At this point I’m open to it. I mean, nothing is holding me back since I have no job at the moment (except for my parents - I want to stay as close as I can to them during this time)

• And the job thing is SCARY. Y’all. Unemployment is approaching 15%. UGHHHH. I haven’t heard squat from Old Company about bringing us laid off people back. One exception: my former purchasing associate decided to quit during this time (WOW! Bold move!) and so the company is bringing back a guy who was laid off at the same time I was to fill that role. This role directly affects my former role, but of course, the only way I got that info was from the super gossipy engineer I used to avoid talking with! None of the rest of us know anything about what might happen. I’m not banking on getting a call-back, but this is torture knowing that there is a tiny glimmer that I could possibly be recalled. I can’t believe how stressed I get when I think about all of that bullshit. For something I was ready to LEAVE. Isn’t it crazy that when something is taken away you want it back so bad? But if I were to be completely honest with myself (and you) I’d tell you that I DON’T want that job back. I am ready, ready, READY to move on to the next GIGANTIC adventure. I am so, so ready! I’ve said it before, I’m feeling healthy and ready to give my next chapter 200% of my energy. I am finally, finally absolutely ready. And then…fucking pandemic.

• Oh, and you are just going to DIE when I tell you the latest about the job I’d interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. Remember the job potentially working for that sort of bitchy woman who interrupted me towards the end of the interview? Well, I emailed her to check in on the position after not hearing from the company in about a week and a half and she answered my email and told me that they’d decided to go with another candidate - EVEN THOUGH I WAS “AT THE TOP OF [HER] LIST”. Hm. Okaaaay. Later that evening, I got a text from BROWN NOSEY, do you remember her from previous job? The biotch who used to brown-nose to all of the execs and nip at my heels to kind of get me in trouble (what it seemed like)? Anyway, yes. Brown Nosey sent a text telling me that she GOT A JOB and she was so excited even though it was a demotion and a salary cut and blah, blah, blah but it is at [Company I Interviewed With] and the office is only a 5-minute drive from her house! Which led me to be kind of happy for her that she’d gotten this position because I just KNOW that there will be some clashing with Bitchy Woman and guess what…there won’t be ANY clashing with me!!!

• But truly, this shows me a couple of things: (1) I don’t have to worry about the likelihood of drama at that job, and (2) people are actually HIRING during a global pandemic! So…JOY! And truly I’m happy for Brown Nosey because she’d been looking for a job for nine months. She is really very good at what she does (I’m more creative and she’s more tactical and maybe that’s exactly what they need there). Bottom line, my two points are POSITIVE ONES.

• I’ve been sitting in on a TON of webinars about the job search and networking and such. They are actually very interesting and I’ve figured out that I really enjoy them. Is that weird? Like, what if I could spend the rest of my career sitting in on networking webinars? Haha. I agree with all of the things that they say. The bottom line is, it’s WHO YOU KNOW. Yes, we all know this. But we feel productive when we fill out applications on job boards and fiddle around on LinkedIn, right? I know I do. But I will toss this out there to anyone reading. And I do mean ANYONE. This journal is public, so tell your friends and neighbors!!! I am a product development director (and not a “technical” one like those people who create apps and stuff) - I’m a true, blue designer and developer of things. Mostly textile-based things like clothing (YES! FASHION!!), home decor items, consumer packaged goods, personal care products and pet products. I can lead teams of product developers to create lines of product from concept to sales floor, OR I can do it all by myself (example: The Line I Created over the last couple of years). I have been successful, making multiple millions of dollars for small, medium and giant corporations! When I am passionate about what I am creating I will let NOTHING stop me! I am focused and I am driven and I am beyond excited about my next chapter, so if you know anyone who needs someone like me, please send me a private message and let’s connect!

• There. Done with talking about career for now.

• Mother’s Day was today and I took the dog to my parents’ place. Got them their groceries for the week and my bro and SIL and niece showed up so that was fantastic (even though I got annoyed that they were so fucking LOUD again…why do I let that bother me so much? Everyone was so excited and I should be so happy by that very fact alone - plus the fact that my parents are still here on earth with us!!). A really nice time was had by all. The weather was fantastic and I’m so grateful for being able to see them during this time - and really any time, you know? Their health is good right now and I’m praying it stays that way at least until we get out of crisis mode.

• There’s more, but I can’t think of anything right now because my mind is rattled (I had too much sugar today) and I need to go walk the dog. I haven’t taken her on her long walk today and I think the last walk is gonna get cut short anyway by the fact that the sun is setting and I don’t like to walk after dark in this downtown area. It’s getting super shady lately - more than it’s ever been.

So I’ll cut this entry off for now.

Love,
GS