No Time for Comparison in These Foolish Things

Hey. It’s been a while. I am juuuuuust about over this situation. I think we are all kind of about to crack.

I need to keep reminding myself not to be angry or jealous of the people I know who are breaking social distancing. It’s hard, though, when I see and hear about people having a great old time on social media or on video chat. I am hearing of people dating during the pandemic. I have firsthand knowledge of backyard BBQs and fantastic gatherings. Hell, I even see it in my favorite parks - there are people out playing volleyball and other touchy-feely games and activities without a care in the world. How is it that we understand this pandemic so differently?

I’m over here in my little apartment with my little dog and nobody else.

Even the video happy hours with my girls have dried up because I was the only one initiating them. This week I decided to give it a rest and nobody else stepped up to connect.

And of course, the job prospects are bleak as unemployment is at an unfathomable level. Yet I keep cranking out the applications as if some company is going to FLY me somewhere to interview. And would I even ever think of moving during all of this?!

I am now more or less taking care of my parents. I can’t leave them. My brother and I are their lifeline.

Last night a faraway friend of mine sent an SOS text since she’s on the opposite end of the spectrum with three small children, a husband and a full time job. She asked me if she could run away and come to my place. YES, I pleaded!! We had a text chat and have decided that I’ll drive up (8 hour drive) to visit and hang out with her and her family when it’s safe. That will probably be my vacation this year. If it’s even a possibility.

And I’m in that weird in-between thing with this “temporary” layoff that’s supposed to last until June 5th. It’s the worst kind of limbo/torture there is.

And the thing is, under normal circumstances, I could take a mini-vacation somewhere to take my mind off of being unemployed and to get my head together. Right now, there’s NO PLACE TO GO!! There’s no escaping this situation.

So how to get my head right? How to move on? How to make this situation better? How to look on the bright side?

Of course, I’m absolutely grateful to still be here. I’m grateful that the weather is wonderful and that walks and fresh air are encouraged during this pandemic. I could have been a lot worse had something affected the air outside or somehow the water supply, you know?

I’m grateful for my dog and I’m grateful that my parents are doing well right now. I’m grateful I have friends who send me sweet cards and texts. I’m grateful that I have time right now to relax and settle down - I just need to settle my mind, my fears, my worry of the future. I’m sure I’m worrying about things that will never happen.

I also need to make things happen.

I pulled out my sewing machine and dusted it off and made a couple of masks. I need to work on perfecting them. Masks aren’t going anywhere, y’all. They are going to be around for a while. We might as well wear fashionable ones.

I’m working on networking, mostly via LinkedIn. I don’t know how far I’m getting, but I’ve updated my profile and added some links to articles I’ve been quoted in and my online portfolio. I also just sent an email to a guy who runs a super cool company here in town and volunteered my services while I’m on furlough. I’m thinking about talking with another business owner about the same…literally volunteering to do stuff to maybe open some doors and get to know these local businesses more.

And then, of course, there is the antibody test that I want to get. Still researching to understand which ones are legit. I am pretty sure I had the virus back in early February and I want to be tested to see if I can participate in studies or even donate plasma. Wouldn’t it be amazing to have magic blood that can help others heal?

So really, if you think about it, there’s a lot going on, I suppose. Perhaps a lot more I could be doing, but my brain is so out of whack right now. And I realize that everyone’s brain is fried and we are all dealing with this in different ways.

But again, I must, MUST stop looking at others. This is no time for comparison. I can’t control others - I can only control ME (and sometimes that’s not easy!).

Anyway,
GS

Last updated April 29, 2020