Timelines in Bedtime thoughts

I know that everyone has different time lines for things to happen and I shouldn’t compare but it’s so hard when everyone has someone; getting married, having children, moving in together. It’s hard not to feel alone and unlovable.. I just want someone to love me but that person seems like they don’t exist. I try not to think too much about my future but I can’t help it and I just feel like I’m going to die alone before anyone realises I’m here just trying to be loved. Do I look funny? Is my personality to shy? To stuck up? Am I just not loveable? The only person whom loved me is gone to love someone else and have all our plans with her.. I used to blame myself it’s cause I couldn’t give him kids and she can but I don’t I know I’m worth more than that piece of shit, liar and cheater.... it’s just does anyone else know I’m worthy ? It’s hard to carry on some days and the little bit of hope I have left seems to be fading .. I just don’t know anymore