This is what this was supposed to be for, right?
It feels like I’m being crushed, the even relentless pressure of being submerged too deep, (maybe maybe maybe) I don’t want to do this anymore. Feel this way
Can I feel another way?
Like ice water being poured over the skin and my hairs are standing up and (it beats again) the pressure and I wonder (will you ever be enough) will I ever be enough in the face of it, have I slipped too far? It creeps in again, am I addicted? To feeling this way, to falling into self destructive tendencies, why (why why why) does it make me feel ALIVE
Can’t stop eating again, I know that. I know I know (thank god he’s here or) I would do it in a heartbeat if I was truly alone.
Sometimes (even though I’m cherished even though I believe him) I feel truly alone.
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