Bad-Ish Idea: Part One in Thirty-Five

THESE WILL BE LONG ENTRIES This first part tells how exactly the circumstances led up to mine and Randy’s meeting, but without Randy’s part just yet, because that is MUCH longer (LOL no pun intended hahaha)

I mentioned in one of my previous entries that I wanted to talk about some of the stuff I had never talked about in Randy and my relationship.

A lot of you do know most of the story, so if you want to skip all of this, I completely understand. And if you don’t really give a shit either way, I’m fine with that too LOL.

This is kind of more for my own reflection. Some days when we’re laying on the couch watching a movie or in bed we just kind of hold hands or scratch each other’s head or back depending on how we’re positioned. I think to myself, that a little over 10 years ago, at 24, I had already given in to the belief that I was going to be alone the rest of my life, based solely on the fact that I had slept with a handful of men and none of them liked me enough to stick around.

That year I decided I needed to get out of my hometown. Tiny little 1200 population southwestern NM. So I moved here to Tucson. I had been using the site Adult Friend Finder but being in a small ass town it was hard to find anyone who I didn’t already know, so I had to be super secretive. I never actually met anyone from there while I was still at home.

I had also, being dumb and not knowing any better, posted an ad on Craigslist basically saying hey young female moving to big city, come at me bro. LMAO no but yeah I met some weird creatures on there. But the one that stuck out to me was “Ken”. I don’t think that was his real name. But yeah. We shot some pool, had some drinks and made out in the parking lot of the place we met at. Then a few days later he invited me over to his place. He was older, like in his mid 40s (compared to my 25) and he saw me naked and suddenly couldn’t get it up. He blamed his age, but then I never heard from him again lol.

I will admit, I was a lot bigger back then though so that didn’t really surprise me.

Anywho, so that was 2009 and Gerry and I got back into contact and we had a very short long distance relationship. he did come down to tucson and he actually spent christmas with me and my family lol. Everyone went their separate ways and left the two of us at my brother’s (where I was living at the time) and we fucked like rabbits all night. it was intense. hahaha.

shortly after that he skipped town because he had a warrant for his arrest due to a DUI he had gotten the year before or something. Moved to Oregon and I lost contact with him for about a year.

I don’t think I pursued anything with anyone after that because I was just like whatever I’m over it, I’m gonna focus on having fun with my brothers, making new friends and working. That was the whole reason I had moved to Tucson. To find a better job (than just walmart) and to just live in a bigger city.

That brings us to about 2011. I started working at the court and I started getting back on AFF in the later part of the year. It was coincidental that Gerry was also on there at the same time I had gotten back on so we started talking. I let him know I had started a new job and that’s when shit went downhill with him thankfully. He told me, that because I wouldn’t uproot my life to move to Oregon to be with him, that I didn’t take our relationship seriously enough and that I wasn’t aggressive enough. I told him to basically fuck off because we hadn’t even been talking again for more than a couple weeks and I had JUST started this new job. HE was the one that skipped town to get away from his responsibilities. I told him he could go fuck himself and to leave me alone and I never talked to him again.

I met a few people after that and had some fun and then at the beginning of 2012, I met Antonio. He was the first person I met off AFF that I thought I had a fighting chance with. I wouldn’t say I fell in love with him because that wasn’t the case. We had a lot in common, and we got along very well. But I was new to the site and didn’t know what to expect so I got my feelings hurt. Lesson learned and, it also opened up a whole new Realm for me: casual sex.

After him, I met LJ who was a blast then couldn’t get it up one time and I haven’t let him touch me since lol. Then there was David.

David was the only other person so far that I thought I could make it with from the site. Our relationship lasted probably only about 2ish months. I met him in April I think. Yeah almost exactly 8 years ago. Anywho, so We had an amazing weekend with each other, dinner, drinks, movies, sex, just amazing. I realllllyyyy thought he was going to be the one. He was an aircraft mechanic for the military (former navy rescue diver) and had been traveling the country doing that.

They were going to station him here in Tucson, so when he was here, he was looking for a place to live. Well he had to go to California for a couple weeks to do a project there and then he’d be back.

Well during that time, my coworker Yesenia had invited us to Bullhead City/Laughlin for Cinco De Mayo because her family was there. So we all went up there and David was supposed to meet us there and we were going to have an amazing time. Well his contract got changed a week in and he never came back to Tucson. I drowned my sorrows that night in Laughlin and I had to get wheeled out of the casino lol.

Anywho so fast forward a few weeks and My migraines were starting to ramp up even more because it was getting hotter. So I was having a bad time of it. Well David proved to me that age and maturity do not go hand in hand. He was 41 at the time (i was 27) and He couldn’t handle my issues so he just kinda went poof.

After him I kind of this went crazy. Between June and October there was LJ, James, Alex, Brian, Josh, John, Leo, Tony (who i never actually had sex with because it just would not have worked), Billy (also never had sex but we did spent a lot of time together).

I had about two months of nothing because I had been having horrendous migraines from the end of July through August, and then went on FMLA at the beginning of October. Part 2 (and 3 and 4 maybe lol) will come later....that is all Randy and I with all the other stuff thrown in.