Woking in All Good Things
- March 24, 2014, 1:06 a.m.
- |
- Public
Woking owed me, that's all I can say. One of the worst days of my life happened there, and now one of the best has. I needed to replace those memories. Those ghosts.
I had a good week. The pain from my tooth has finally gone (not a single painkiller today, first day in 15 days!), and after Thursday my anxiety and panic seemed to disappear as well. On Friday I could think for the first time in longer than I can remember. I hadn't realised just how empty my brain has been for the past few months, until suddenly the ability to think returned. It's been slightly overwhelming, a sensation that's familiar but seems so foreign. No wonder I haven't been able to write for months. It's been hard enough to hold conversations.
I saw the doctor again on Wednesday, who seemed very pleased and said I was looking a lot better and we should continue on this medication. After that, I met up with a good friend of mine from work in the city, which was a lot more stressful than it should have been but I was actually able to, which I wouldn't have been a week ago. It was good to talk to her, to tell her what's been going on with me, explain why I've vanished from the scene for the past five months. She was surprisingly understanding and supportive of what I'm doing to deal with it.
Then yesterday with Annette was just.....mind-blowing.
I don't think she fully believes just how bad I've been, because the last time I saw her was in about December, before everything got seriously bad. I was still able to hold it together in public back then. She's been in Dubai ever since, and although we've emailed and texted and chatted during that time, she hasn't actually seen me. And by the time yesterday arrived, I was amazingly similar to my old self.
I met her in the mall in Woking, in the outer section of a restaurant surrounded by the hordes of Saturday shoppers, something that for the past few months would have sent me hysterical with panic, and I was relaxed and cheerful and barely noticed the crowds. That in itself was astounding to me, and actually she said she knew it would normally (as in during the past eight years she's known me) bother me to a small degree and she could see it wasn't even doing that.
And then Jon gave her the best show I've ever seen him perform in the evening. He's just back from injury, Thursday was his first show back (when he was brilliant but slightly tentative), but on Saturday night he'd decided his foot was obviously going to hold up without a problem and he went all out. OMG. Wow.
Annette's heard me rave about him for many years now and I'd been worried that maybe I'd built him up so much he wouldn't be able to live up to whatever expectations I'd created in her mind, but.....he far exceeded my own expectations that night, let alone Annette's. His attitude had fired up the entire cast and everyone was so much better than usual, but he was just phenomenal.
There is something about watching that man dance that is.....holy.
Also, pretty orgasmic.
I can't believe how blissfully content I am with my life right now. I haven't felt this way for ten years...........not since the last time I used to see him dance on a regular basis. God. Seriously?
There's something here I need to think about.
To Read Others. ⋅ March 24, 2014
xoox