Maybe insightful, maybe sappy. in Matters of the heart.

So, I feel like ranting a little bit. And this is going to be a topic, that my OD readers are familiar with because I have been very straight forward about my stance on what it is. Now some of you have read my repeated posts about it, and considering the "Book" that this is going under you probably can already tell it's about love and relationships and what not. Part of this is brought on by a specific persons choice to be stupid, and to act completely against what she claims to know.

So let's get started shall we? What do you believe is what makes relationships work? Absolute similarities? Opposites? Or is it all irrelevant? For me it is a mix. You should agree on a lot of things, and disagree on a lot of things. Relationships are unions. The other person should challenge you and still support you. It is not a mathematical equation. It's a matter of what that person does to and for us. How they make us feel, how when for lack of a better phrase..."The whole world could be falling apart and just talking to [them] can change it...[You] instantly feel comforted talking to [them]. [They] make everything right with the world." It's not possible to find someone that makes you feel the way they make you feel. Through hell and high water, the bond doesn't die. When you hurt, they are the first person you want to talk to. When something good happens, they are the first person you want to tell. They are the person that you get caught with a stupid grin on your face when they text you. The person that keeps you together. The person that makes you feel safe. They know your ticks. They know your imperfections and they know the things that piss you off, and sometimes will use them, and the other will use the the things that piss them off right back. You will part ways for a little while, but fall right back into the same comfort zone as if the fight never happened. They get you. And you get them. There will always be times of turbulence, but time and time again...that person...is who we go back to. Sometimes it's on both sides. Trading off times of coming back to each other. Other times it's one person always coming back and the other standing there waiting with open arms. There's degrees on both sides of pride, humility, forgiveness, compassion, understanding, the list goes on. To be proud enough of that person to believe they will be back. Humility to throw away that pride and fight for that person. To throw the pride away and apologize. Forgiveness to accept apologies. Compassion and understanding to not judge or condemn them, but to work with them. Loving someone is a humbling experience. Sometimes people are unaware of it even though it is right in front of them. They see it. They feel it. But for whatever reason...they don't see it.

"It doesn't matter who hurt you, or broke you down. What matters is who made you smile again." Often times it's the person that makes you smile again that is overlooked out of fear. Fear of losing that person. Fear that they won't be there some day if things went wrong. Fear of not knowing what your life would be without them. This fear keeps people from taking a chance on something that is obvious. If the person is making you smile again through all of the hurt and breaks...they are there for you. Not for themselves. If they are always there, it pains them to see you hurt, and yet they endure for the chance to know that you will be ok. To be the person that holds you up. The chance to really mean something to you. And they do mean something amazing to you, but you overlook them because you are scared of losing them. The saddest thing, though, is that that fear of losing them is pushing them more than anything. They tend to feel overlooked and unappreciated or not valued, because you fight tooth and nail to not risk losing that person. It pains them. It hurts loving and not having anything to hold on to from that other person. I read an article awhile back, I don't remember why, but it was about soul mates. And while I don't believe in soul mates, necessarily, the article made a great point about how soul mates push away their soul mate. Why? Because they don't believe it's possible for someone to love them with such conviction. Or they believe that it's too good to be true. That they've been hurt so many times that nobody could love them like that. How can you love someone when you don't love yourself. People just need to start opening their eyes. They need to look past the consequences of risk, and look at the potential for what is truly great. The person that you call yours....that's the person you need to look at. I don't mean yours as in that's my best friend..I mean..."yours." There's an ownership involved...a claim if you will. The person that fights it...is the one making excuses as to why, or finding reasons not to. Blaming "titles ruin things." Or "relationships go one of two ways." Or sacrificing saying something for the sake of a friend or something like that. All the excuses or reasons not to in the world won't change the actuality. It's merely a matter of being willing to take a risk for something amazing, and opening your eyes to reality.

If the person you are with exhibits OBVIOUS behavior of what you know won't work, then why continue? Why continue overlooking what you know you feel and looking to what you know doesn't work? When the person your with shows such...untrustworthy tendencies..psychotic tendencies even...immaturity that you know is a major issue. (Not the good kind of immaturity....the good kind is the kind that isn't afraid to say hey let's watch cartoons together, or let's play with legos, or color, or childish things done together....the bad immaturity that shows they don't know what they have, let alone how to appreciate it) Let's face it....it is expected that a new relationship will usually start with a girl snooping. She always wants to know if you're hiding something and if so she wants to know what it is. Now sometimes it's her looking for a reason to end it consciously, or subconsciously, other times it's just because she doesn't trust easily so she snoops. Guys...let me tell you something obvious that you all should already fucking know by now. She WILL snoop. It is your responsibility to make it so she finds nothing. Proving youre trustworthy through knowing she is going to snoop and allowing her. Not hiding things, or covering things up...because never doubt the ingenuity of a curious female....they will find out. And often times it is the guy that dooms himself. When a girl has a suspicion....she picks up on the details and sees the holes in your stories and sees through your bullshit....and she will connect the dots and you will end up ditched. Ladies....you shouldn't snoop, and you shouldn't have to snoop....but you will. Don't try to deny it. You will. You want to know you can trust this guy...unfortunately for my gender...more times than not we can't be. Thus why it is a natural impulse to snoop. Guys are arrogant and we tend to think that we can get away with anything, and that ladies will believe anything we say if we whisper the right words in the right way. We are fools. But I know better. I know that the people that believe that they can get away with it...get caught. Now, even women are guilty of the same thing. Trust me...I know they are more than capable. However, that's another topic all together. Now, how the person reacts to your snooping says a lot about them...and guess what...if they flip shit...they are certainly hiding something. Why be defensive and freak out if there's nothing for you to find? And if the line "I didn't think you'd find out" Is EVER uttered....you know immediately in that exact second that that sentence starts that that person CAN NOT BE TRUSTED. So do me a favor....and when I say that you are being stupid. You know better. You can't be serious. That you see alll the things I point out...don't tell me "I know" and then act completely against what you KNOW.

Back on topic. The person you need to be looking at is the person you are comfortable with. You trust. You lean on. You support. You love. Your best friend should be the one you love. The one you love should be your best friend. Did you know that marrying your best friend eliminates the risk of divorce by 70% and that those marriages are more likely to last a lifetime. That best friend that you inexplicably get jealous over. You feel that they are yours and no person will ever be good enough for them and if you see them with someone else you get a pit in your stomach. The person that is a deal breaker for relationships that aren't with that person. If you have to choose between that person and the potential relationship...its that person that is chosen. Even if it took a few shit decisions to learn that. Remember it is the person that can be knocked out, and wake up in the middle of the night because you texted multiple times because you are upset and comforts you and gets you to smile regardless of the impending exhaustion of the next sleepless day. The person that stays up all night watchign a new show with you, for the hell of it even though they work tomorrow. The person that stays up with you when you say you are scared or upset and can't sleep. If you can't sleep they sacrifice sleep so that you aren't exhausted alone.

You can make excuses all you want. You can say that you believe that that person loves you and isn't in love with you, but that's merely another attempt by you to convince yourself you aren't in love with them, or that they don't or can't possibly love you for you. Regardless of the rough road behind you and them. People need to open their eyes and be done with the stupid games that they know won't work and start looking for something that will. If you continue to choose the same type of person....the same end result will continue to happen. You will hurt and that person that actually matters will be there until they get fed up with feeling unappreciated.

Well, I think that covers everything I feel like ranting about. lol
King out.