ever since friday i haven’t been sleeping the same. i feel horribly guilty. i feel sick in my head. i don’t want to live like this, i don’t know how to change or stop this feeling that lingers inside of me. it’s all day and all night.
night is the worst because i am alone in bed and constantly thinking. these thoughts are killing me over and over again. maybe i am a bad person and this is my punishment. perhaps that’s what i tell myself to find some sort of answer. because at least i would have a reason. and having a reason is a bit comforting. however there is the debate of not knowing being much better. who knows.
hopefully i get some sleep soon.
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