trapped at a gas station at 2am in Sometimes I feel dead inside

the surreal nature of this get together to celebrate the life of a good person, just like the last one, is like a bizarre dream. seeing people who used to be important center pieces in each others lives now only see each other when something like this happens. some old grudges are forgotten or forgiven, some will never die despite multiple attempts to repair the damage. drinking in a bar that was frequented at the time, some people are able to pick up like nothing has changed and its a few years ago, some have changed so much its impossible to recognize them as the same person anymore. the same people get drunk and make fools out of themselves, the same jokes are made. so here i am sitting at a gas station after the get together, theres a flat tire on the car i'm riding home in, changing it is turning out to be a bigger problem than expected. roadside assistance is on its way, i'm hanging out with a guy i used to hang with frequently. the cold weather is slowly wearing me down. my already on coming cold takes its moment to make sure it taking me out of commission for at least a day. i'm sitting here thinking about how this whole thing, these people, how we all care for each other but have lives that just don't afford us the luxury or convenience that working together did. and life moved us all on. maybe some of them regret moving on, maybe those who've remained in the same spot hold distain for the others leaving them behind. it is strange and a little sad that these people can no longer have the same relationships with each other that they once had.