I can't face her yet.... I just can't. in MY JOURNAL

So, we have practice tonight, and she is going to be there. If I go to practice, I will bawl like a baby because of how she hurt me. She will act like nothing ever happened, like we were never really friends anyway, and my heart will shatter once again. God... why do I do this to myself???? Why couldn't high school REMAIN in high school????? Just a couple more days and I should be ok again. But I won't let her in again... she burned that bridge.