bethany
Entries 288
Page 10 of 12
march 4 in twenty-seven
It's my sister's 23rd birthday today. I feel old when my siblings have birthdays. I was married when I was Sarah's age. And now I'm all but divorced. I'll be divorced before I turn 28.
march 3 in twenty-seven
Unhappy Monday, all. I had dinner with the roommate and the coworker tonight after work so it wasn't the worst of Mondays. Since in working so much there is little time for anything else.
march 2 in twenty-seven
I haven't been able to stop crying for the last sixteen hours. What's up with my emotions? I feel like they're on overdrive.
march 1 in twenty-seven
I'm going through a period where I feel alone and isolated. It's a dark spiral and I dread it. It's painful to give so much of yourself to someone and have them have nothing to offer in return....
february 28 in twenty-seven
I want to be loved. To be treated as though I'm special and wonderful and needed. It feels hopeless.
february 27 in twenty-seven
I've had the worst nausea last night and all day today. How's it going out there? No one is really updating and certainly no one is noting. Turns out this place isn't so different from OD after...
february 26 in twenty-seven
I worked for twelve hours today, then went grocery shopping with the roommate for food for the rest of the week. And then came home and watched tv until I was so exhausted I couldn't keep my eye...
february 25 in twenty-seven
My back has been killing me. Spasms. Sitting in a chair seems to aggravate it even more. Lying down doesn't feel much better either. It's been making sleeping difficult. Went to OSU tonight to t...
february 24 in twenty-seven
I ended up working eight hours yesterday, and another ten today. Two years ago, even one year ago, I didn't mind this. Now I feel like I have a right to my own life. Why should my job take up so...
february 23 in twenty-seven
Happy weekend-end.
february 22 in twenty-seven
I can tell when my mind is on the verge of collapse when everything else in my life starts slipping. I can't keep my apartment clean despite having no excuses. The apartment looks great, but that...
february 21 in twenty-seven
Friday nights have turned into very tame things now that the roommate has his kid for every one. And my only local friend is in DC for the weekend, which means I had to spend the night at home. ...
february 20 in twenty-seven
Fourteen hour work days aren't so bad when you feel out of place at your own apartment. The roommate and I have been trying to watch House of Cards on Netflix. I'm having trouble focusing. We al...
february 19 in twenty-seven
Today is my six-year anniversary with my company. And all day I kept thinking, I'll probably never reach a six-year anniversary with a man. Chris and I made it to five and a half. Is that going ...
february 18 in twenty-seven
I finally made it to the grocery store tonight. I'm having a hard time staying on top of that one lately. I'm not sure why.
february 17 in twenty-seven
Is there anything positive to say about Mondays?
february 16 in twenty-seven
I spent most of the day in bed. It was one of those days where I felt heavy hearted. Staying in bed probably doesn't help, but the other option would have been to go with the roommate to hang out...
february 15 in twenty-seven
I blacked out from exhaustion last night. I was at the gym by 5:15 the last two mornings and was awake until eleven last night. I had a couple of beers and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up thi...
february 14 in twenty-seven
Happy Valentine's. I had to continually remind myself today that other people's happiness in their relationships has nothing to do with me. My single and lonely status isn't going to change just ...
february 13 in twenty-seven
I went to the gym this morning at five and by the time eight in the evening got here I was falling asleep. So I didn't even try to fight it. Had lunch with a client at J Alexander's. I got the...
february 12 in twenty-seven
I hate working out in the mornings. It makes me feel like I should be asleep for the night by the time noon rolls around, but lately the roommate and I have been sucking at working out. It starte...
february 11 in twenty-seven
I still find myself absent-mindedly typing in the OD URL on my phone, then only to remember a split second after hitting enter that it will get me nowhere. I woke up early this morning. I'm sup...
february 10 in twenty-seven
I'm having a down day.
february 9 in twenty-seven
I met my mother for lunch. And I didn't meet her alone. So now she knows. And I haven't heard from her about it so I don't know how badly she's taking it, but my guess is that it isn't great. B...
february 8 in twenty-seven
I slept until noon today, then went to chipotle for a quick math review for the roommate before his test, then spent the rest of the day in as lazy of a state as I could manage. That's how I pref...
