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Turns out, I wasn’t doing that well with the SexyPants stuff. Over the last few weeks I have been obsessing over him and the loss of the relationship as it were and what the fuck is it now? He ...

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1. It’s a numbers thing: Weight is finally heading back to normal. I don’t know why I’m surprised that my weight inches up when I take my eye off the ball. I’ve been writing this stuff down for...

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There’s a term that the new CEO at my company uses to address a portion of the business that is no longer viable and we want to get out of smoothly, and that’s “elegantly exit”. In other words, ...

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…and I do literally mean mentally ill-grade crazy. Let’s see. Where shall I begin? Last weekend. Crazy #1: I’d gone for my big weekly walk-and-talk with SP (no grief, please – it’s therape...

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I've started no less than three entries this week and I can't seem to get the words out. Today, August 8th, would have been my 6th Wedding Anniversary with Bryan had we married. How strange to ...

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Work: Maybe I’m just bored, but I’m just not into it right now, and I really, really should be! Right now is the time I should be striking while the iron is hot. I should be spending more of my...

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Hello. How are things? I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m going in life and what I want to do with myself. I gotta say (over and over and over), it’s time to start living and to stop wai...

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The days sure do fly by. I started writing this on Wednesday. It’s now Friday. Here’s what I wrote and then I’ll continue: Wednesday, July 16th Another day, another day. We all get older. ...

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Whelp, weekend has come and gone and I did have a nice one. And yes, I saw SP. And I’m beginning/continuing to feel a little bit foolish. Thing is, I do miss him when we’re apart. And I do wo...

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Wrote an entry yesterday that just made me want to gag, so it’s private. Over the last couple of weekends, I’ve had amazing, amazing times. First, it was a lost weekend in a town close by – fan...

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Let's backtrack six weeks. I was on my way to feeling OK about where I was in terms of grief. Well, maybe I wasn't. I was still on the floor and crying my heart out most nights, but when I was...

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Went to China and then came back. I normally dread the trip and this time was no different. These trips (I go to China twice a year) are extremely stressful as I have so much to get done while...

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So much, so much to update. I guess I’ll just dig right in. The Bulldog has been hanging around and it’s been fun. I guess the last time I wrote, he was in and out and in and out. And it was ...

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I am an idiot. Yes, I’ve heard back from The Bulldog, but it has been in fits and starts. In a matter of a couple of weeks, we’ve gone like this: Texts --> Innuendo Texts --> Sexts --&...

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Well, good news/bad news with The Bulldog. I saw him again on Saturday!! Totally impromptu, but totally great! We had texted a lot on Friday and into Saturday and I was just having so much fu...

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Last evening, about an hour after I wrote my last entry, I decided to take The Bull(dog) by the horns and ask him to join me for a drink! I told him that he could come or not, but I was going to...

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So yeah. What’s new? State of My Grief: I don’t know, you guys. Here’s the latest I’ve been thinking about recently – he’s taking someone else on MY vacation!! Back months ago, SP invited me...

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It was Easter Weekend, and that meant that I had Good Friday off of work (aaaaahhhh), and it was a lovely, lovely, phenomenally beautiful weekend. Unfortunately for me, I had the worst two-day h...

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I think that feeling OK this past week or so was nature's way of giving me a survival tactic. Just when I think I'm going to be fine, BOOM, another big wave of sorrow and grief. I had it bad la...

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Name: Clark (name changed) Age: 52 Status: Divorced for around 4-5 years Job: Bank Vice President Lives: In a kind of fancy neighborhood about 10 miles from my downtown place. He Wore: Pl...

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Believe it or not, I owe you not one, but TWO Rate-A-Dates! Yeah, this is probably not the right thing to do while nursing a heartache, but it is helping with the weirdness. As Bulldog says, ha...

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Started to write an entry yesterday on such a gloomy, rainy Sunday. But I felt like I wanted to get outside, so I went for a walk after the rain let up a little bit, and then you know what? The...

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*Slightly Manic Version State of My Heart:  Grieving   continues, but something strange has happened.  My heart somehow feels some kind of relief -  already!  I’m worried a little bit that I m...

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Today was a better day, a little. SP was my first thought this morning and that made me cry a little and I had a few bouts during the day, but it was also a very busy day and that helped. Not l...

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Not sure what I’m going to do today to keep these obsessive thoughts out of my head.  The weekend was insane, and I mean that fairly literally. I didn’t do myself any favors yesterday.  I’ve sig...

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