wall*flower

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I feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, but instead of Wonderland waiting for me at the bottom, it’s just darkness. I’ve never seen myself as a depressed individual. It was always mind over m...


As I type this, I have my black kitten on my chest, actually in front of my face, my Siamese kitten next to my computer, and our little temporary foster baby (who is only 6 weeks old) trying to e...


It's been an interesting couple months with the twinlets. We've done a lot, and often times seems like nothing at all. I've taken them to the zoo, the aquarium, a water park, the pool multiple ti...


Jay has been on my tail to get a job... one that pays, preferably, since fostering the kittens is all out of pocket unless I get donations. So I did... two actually! But I didn't realize how, eve...


is there really such a thing as "unconditional love"? I mean seriously... can love really have no conditions, can a human love a another human regardless of their mental state, physical state, em...


These were too cute not to share... These are of Misty, the oldest of the 5 kittens (she's from a different litter)... she's got such a hilarious little personality and is too big for her ...


I'm currently momma to 5 kittens... Misty, Boromir, Faramir, Eowyn, & Pippin, the runt. I thought for a bit we were going to loose Misty, but after a good dose of Nutrical and some more form...


I was recently diagnosed with OSA (obstructive sleep apnea) and am now on a CPAP machine. The excess cloudiness in my head, the forgetfulness, the ADHD-esque traits that weren't responding to my ...


I've decided to try adding something in my routine... taking my meds when J's alarm goes off in the morning. I told him my idea and he poked me mercilessly until I woke up this morning and took m...


My therapist told me I need to write more... especially when things start to get jumbled in my head... I generally can't get them into a single stream of consciousness until I get so mad I pop. ...


I dreamt of you again last night. It was bizarre, you were deliriously goofy- feverish- but you didn't hate me. We followed me around like a lost puppy, demanding I talk to you. To tell you what ...


My mother is coming to visit Wednesday (today's Sunday). My mother is coming to visit and is staying with us. I think I'm going to take up drinking for a week...


Do you remember your first time? Yes, it seemed like a blur at the time, but it was not really all that romantic. If you could change your first, would you? Oh gods, yes Favourite Position? ...


I want to be beautiful- in my own eyes. I want fingernails that are pretty. I want my house to be clean, but I don't want to do it. I want to be NORMAL... or perhaps I should say... I want to be ...


So, I've forgotten more than once recently to take my morning meds. I am now, however, trying to get the house cleaned up... slowly. One room per day. Anyway, I forget yesterday to take my meds...


I am confused. This is too much information, I'm sure, but I don't care much. I'm smelling all kinds of things strongly again. My boobs are out to kill me. I can't remember if my period showed ...


(pronounced: Kohshka)


I'M SO TIRED OF ALL THESE EMOTIONS!!!! I don't know if this is considered processing, disassociating, or just being crazy, but I can't handle all this. I've never been so glad I have an appoin...


I don't have the mental capacity to write a detailed log on everything that's happened... or maybe I'm just too lazy today. Regardless, there's been so much happening that processing it is taking...


I'm currently in CBT... and had no notion of what it actually entailed until now, and I have to admit, I actually enjoy it. The fact that it's digging into thoughts and feelings to find their roo...


The three bad.... 1- there's a nail in my tire 2- J is stressed out and making me twitchy 3- I got a script for new meds Wednesday and the doctor STILL hasn't called in the approval Job's going ...


I'm home on lunch and smell something foul, but can't find the source of the stench. More than likely it's me, but whatever... no one can really smell much of each other's stench at work anyway. ...


i've been sick for what seems like days, but really it's only been maybe 24-36 hours... my stomach has been in a constant form of OW or angry... i went to work this morning and got my room/chor...


I'm supposed to be thinking of "core beliefs" for therapy... here's as good a place as any. 1- I am undesirable because of my weight. 2- I am shy. 3- I can't. 4- I'm afraid of being completely a...


Books 1