BettiePageSweatsCheapVodka ⋅

Writer. Reader. Inadvertent cheater of death. Your lover with too much eyeliner on.

Maybe that's what we look for all our lives, the worst possible grief, to make us truly ourselves before we die. Louis-Ferdinand Céline

Entries 32

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December 08, 2023

Our Magpie Luck in The Alex Era

Mostly, I try not to let myself think about you… but under today’s snowstorm, a sky full of doves shedding their cold white feathers, I thought about you… I was thinking about that one Valentine’...


December 07, 2023

A Matter of Court Record in Dramedy

“Mom, who is my dad?” I am unprepared for the question my 8 year old lobs at me over dinner, as he swipes a milk moustache off his face with one swipe of his grubby hand. The answer seems so obvi...


A letter I wrote to my estranged husband before he was killed.... A., Even after all this time, whenever I’m at a book sale, I still always look for the Fante. It’s my thing. Actually, it was yo...


December 02, 2023

All Honey, No Vinegar in The Alex Era

Yours is a haunting that I can’t seem to let go of. It was our anniversary on November 8th. Or would’ve been. I don’t know. I’m never sure if anniversaries continue to exist for widows of men who...


December 01, 2023

Necessary Fodder in OD OG

From time to time, I still think about the others I met in the hospitals and crisis centers, in the lowest points of our lives. And I wonder if they’re ok. I wonder if they beat the statistics of...


The 80s education system loved a puppet. I don’t know why, but back then, the teachers often used puppets to teach us morals and anti-drug messages in our tiny, rural school. We had a whole progr...


Your apartment is dressed in the shadows of twilight. Black sheets of it pulled down the walls, over the furniture. It hides the coffee cans of used syringes in the kitchen, the little metal weed...


Books 4


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