Entries 1,227
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Promotion stuff, tension at work.
Alright so Tuesday night I stuck around and watching a manager do inventory, and do the deposit. It doesn’t seem that hard but once you also incorporate having to learn how to make all the food, ...
Work, sleep, brother being needy.
So I’m going to start with work as I’m super excited and need to get it out there. Not only am I scheduled for like 32 hours this week but I am scheduled until 11:45 Thursday night which means I’...
Interviews, school, work. Blah!
Alright so I had an interview yesterday at a call center here close to where I live. It lasted for 3 hours and the starting pay is $12/hr! Holy shit right!!! Well, I realized when I was there tha...
Tired, homework, glad it's the weekend.
Last night I didn’t get off work at home until after 10pm. I didn’t get to sleep until around midnight so I slept in kinda late. My alarm went off at 8:45 and I didn’t get ready to leave until ab...
I make mistakes too.
Definitely got a few notes on my last entry!!! I generally do NOT invite dudes over without meeting them in public first but this guy just seemed like I could trust that things would go okay. I f...
No point in searching for something that doesn't exist.
Alright so I feel like I’ve hit an all time low. I texted that one dude for awhile last night, the one that came over but I was too chicken to actually let him in. Well then I started talking to ...
I feel like an asshole.
Alright so I’ve been emailing this one dude since last week and then last night we exchanged phone numbers. I gave him my address and he was gonna come cuddle with me for a couple of hours and th...
Weekend is almost over.
I’ve spent a lot of time studying, cleaning, sleeping, and hanging out with my niece this weekend. It’s been very relaxing and I feel more rested. I turned in my app to the YMCA to see about gett...
Snap Fitness bs, depressed, just over it.
Alright so work was just downright ridiculous last night. Everyone I loved seeing everyday is now either working at the other store, is training somewhere far away or has since quit. I feel reall...
Feeling pretty good about rejection.
So I went to my class and got the voicemail as I was leaving the school that I did not get chosen and I should apply for other jobs at the hospital. I thought it would bother me more than it real...
Just livin.
So I’ve had a pretty relaxed weekend and it’s back to the work and school grind tomorrow. I printed out a 7 day free pass to a gym that’s about 2 blocks away from me so I’m gonna check that out b...
I live this life everyday.
Haha I just heard that line from a Jason Aldean song. Anyways, I just got done coloring my hair. I got it cut earlier so it’s a little bit shorter and she blended my layers so I don’t have just o...
Interview, school, not enough sleep.
I’ll talk about my interview first. I believe it went rather well and I should know within a week if I get hired or not. It was a group interview type thing where it was only me and 3 other chick...
Paystubs, interview, whatever.
Alright so I went to work in a pretty shitty mood and by the time I left it did improve. She finally texted back and let me know she had to fix my email address (obviously, considering it kept te...
In a really shitty mood.
My job is making me so glad I’m looking for something else. I’ve texted the boss again about my paystub situation at 9 this morning and it’s now almost 3pm with no response! I also love how every...
I wish I had more people to talk to.
I’ve been massively sick all weekend. I’ve done nothing but eat and sleep the past 2 days. I’m completely sick of this now. I want to feel better already. I’m getting really impatient. Oh and I’...
Just a quick entry.
It’s about 1am here and I’m looking to get to bed because I don’t want to spend my day off sleeping. So, I have my interview at the hospital at 10:30 Tuesday morning. I don’t want to spend a lot ...
Ugh, decisions need to be made.
For starters, I managed to get a cold. Throat hurts, can’t stop sneezing, can’t get warm and my body hurts all over. Lovely. Then, it decided to snow last night. It’s not really sticking but it’s...
Facebook.
Alright so I’ve been deleted people off Facebook left and right either because I don’t know them very well so we don’t interact, because every status update they make is extremely negative or dra...
Studying and procrastination.
It’s only the second week of school and I’m already feeling pretty overwhelmed. The homework doesn’t stop and the homework keeps coming. I do think I’ll do fine as long as I study and try to memo...
My family.
I had to work until 10:30 last night because someone was about to walk out because they are sick of doing all the dishes by themselves even though they have told people they don’t want help. I wa...
Gahahahahah!
I got my first week of my second semester over with. I think it went fine except I just checked my grade in A&P to discover I failed my test. I am so discouraged and annoyed. I studied so har...
Ya.
So, this is my first weekend having 3 days off and it’s going great. Last night I went to my parents house for my Dad’s birthday. We had a BBQ with beer, a bottle of tequila rose since I wanted u...
Just another day.
So I’m up waiting to go to my first class of the day while the maintenance man fixes my shower. I haven’t gotten to shower in over a week and I’ve now realized how gross it really is to have to t...
School, sleep, work.
I haven’t had the chance to write for a few days but school started yesterday and I’m glad that I’ve already attended all my classes and got the initial nervous feeling over with. I’m excited to ...
Book Description
I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.
Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.
I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.
So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.
I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.
I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.
It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.
My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.
