Entries 174
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At some point I stopped sleeping.
At night I lie down, fight my girlfriend and cats for a corner of the king sized bed, and watch the blue shadows crawl the wall until the clock pushes past 5:00 AM. I put a kettle on and read the...
To Boldly Go!
What an interesting day, logistically speaking. At one point my fair lady dragged me somewhat against my will into a haunted house, paid for the tickets, and then shoved me in front of her once w...
Closing Time
I have been in the bad habit lately of typing out entries, mostly just out of a need to write, feeling satisfied with the writing process, and then deleting them instead of posting them. Not in a...
Hater Town, population Me
It’s strange to endure hateful things on the promise of a better tomorrow. My eyes feel like they have been ground into dirt- the dirt I walk back and forth through. It’s like the more hateful th...
Navigating Novelty
On the bedside table in my room at the family cabin is a photograph of my dad standing, shirtless, in front of his newly minted pond. The rocks are all clean and orderly, and on the porch just be...
It Hurts
Yesterday I went over the handlebars of my bicycle at the end of my walkway. I was leaning out over them, and my tire struck a rut I didn’t anticipate. I balanced on top of them for just a moment...
How reading enriches life
The best part about reading for me is an effect that radiates briefly after the act of reading itself, and doesn’t linger. Routine reading is necessary to perpetuate it, and the author matters gr...
An Unpleasant Thought
I think I’ve thought of the saddest moment there is. Imagine having the responsibility of being present while a dependent of yours died. Someone who trusted you- who looked to you for help, who l...
Weekend Road
Things feel like 2008 again. Like they’re falling apart. It’s concerning, enough to keep one up at night. There’s enough to worry and despair over, the collapse of civilization should be well tow...
Memory of a Dream
Had a dream a few years ago I can barely remember. A couple, maybe around the same time. There is something about the way I am feeling now that hearkens back to the way I felt in those dreams. I ...
Summer Music
There was a summer some years back that only saw a few days over 80 degrees. That was the summer that taught me to appreciate the heat, and all the magic it brings. Heat wave daylight drains the...
Counting Years
Been thinking about my Dad on the one year anniversary of his death this week. Incidentally, the very same week that I closed on my first home after years of searching and preparing. Old house- 1...
Sleepless in She'attle
I get no sleep, and I blame my “partner” for it. We share a cramped full size bed which also happens to be back-pain-inducing shot. Even sleeping on it alone (an extremely rare event) wakes me up...
Out the cradle
This song in the dark, alone with the window fans and spring leaves: I have to hand it to these ladies. Or maybe the seasonal accents. Really takes me back to a place of mind nearly forgotten. D...
In My Life
A working list of the people and places therein that are dead and gone. Holy Childhood School. Large 3 story brick schoolhouse from the turn of the century. Razed to the ground. I remember atten...
The Sphere
Isn’t it interesting how binary everything becomes? Black and white, good and evil, love and hate. Everything conceptualized by humans becomes dichotomous. Or is it the way of the universe entire...
The year is 1994.
I’m sharing a king size bed with my best friend Tyler at his house at the end of Main. The bed fills the room. A large dresser at the foot of it has a small box TV with a Sega Genesis plugged int...
Fever
Is there anything more exquisitely masochistic than spring fever? Can’t be described. Went two-tracking this afternoon on account of the bright cold sun, and noticed the first of the baby green g...
This Magic Moment
You know that moment just after you’ve knocked over a glass of something, before you can physically react, when you just have to watch it fall and commence flooding of the immediate area? There’s...
Fool's Spring
Felt like I had so much to say until I sat down to say it. For some reason my mind has been lingering on my pre adolescent years as of late, a period of time I’ve never been prone to dwelling on...
The Orange
“I swear to God, my own personal hell would be having to watch you peel oranges forever.” “I peel oranges the same way anyone else does.” “No. It’s a whole thing with you. I can’t explain it.” “T...
Existentialist Nightmare
Last night I dreamt I accepted a mission into outer space for reasons unknown in the near future. The mission was simple- rocket into space, away from earth, and just stay the course until findin...
And Little Lambs Eat Ivy
I am not doing particularly well this dark and frigid evening. It’s hard to speculate as to why. The volume of possibilities are too numerous. The general feeling is one of joyless despair, of be...
February dreams of summer
War With Nature
The state is about to milk my small business of 10 grand to help replenish its covid depleted coffers, which is mildly annoying, but at least we were fortunate enough to remain open (and, indeed,...
