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Today.. for a variety of reasons I feel incredibly sad and deafeningly alone. And there's not much else I want to say about it 

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I wrote the the poem below on May 13th of this year. May 13th is a special day for me. I spent the day with B and she had a laugh attack that went on for minutes and minutes and minutes brought...

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Hey babe, it's true... You have flaws You can be selfish But I love you...You can be avoidant and you can shut me out But I love you You can be insecure and you can rant and rave But I love yo...

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I really fucked up.  I was manipulative... But it wasn't out of malice or control, it wasn't really conscious either. I wasn't trying to affect her independence... I was acting out of fear...

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Have faith, have faith, you say There's nothing you can't do if you just have a little faith But I've been praying on my knees for so long the wounds no longer clot  Just listen, you say. J...

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1. I'm okay with how things are right now 2. Take your time 3. Nothing needs to be decided in this very moment  4. Just keep it simple Ok cool Noted 

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Today has been terrible... mentally and physically exhausting.  It's like the worse I feel physically, the worse my mind gets...or the other way around.  I know I'm the only one who can turn ...

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Brick by brick  Build the wall up around my head  Silence this voice And silence these thoughts  Leave me here in the dark  This fight is no longer worth it And I don't have the strength ...

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I know what it looks like when someone in my situation gives up.. I've seen it. The pressure sores, edema, staying in the chair for 24 hours, not bathing for weeks, infection.. it's how my frie...

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I hate to break it to you But we've never been 100% of anything I don't know what that even meansAnd it was much too soon to know I can't give you 100% of what I have I haven't been 100% since I...

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I overthink, constantly and always  This will never change  And so, I've thought and thought about all the ways and all the reasons why... All the red flags and all complications  For why I...

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What do you expect when the walls keep tightening?What do you expect when the walls start talking? What do you expect when no one else is listening? I can't keep it all together anymore And I'm ...

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Take two... Dying alone in a hospital  Never really letting go of the past  Never really finding a peace within myself Realizing that B doesn't love me like she used to... Failing again in ...

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Why do things seem to be so hard lately? Not just for me but for everyone? Everyone's suffering from anxiety.. loneliness.. whatever else.. seems like there's some kind of epidemic going on.. a...

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I know I lose control off the things I say  And nothing good happens after 2:00 but these late nights under neon lights Just feed my bad habits  Contemplating everything we ever said  Conv...

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I wish I didn't miss you..  I wish I didn't hope every ding on my phone was you... I wish you didn't give up... I wish you just wanted to talk to me... I wish we could just watch TV again...

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Last night at around 12:30 I woke up with the middle of my chest and back in excruciating pain And intense pressure in my head.. I felt like the top half of my body wasn't able to circulate bloo...

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My brother is back in the hospital. They sent him home on Monday after being attacked the day before. He had some mild bleeding on the brain after being hit by some crazy person downtown.  App...

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For anyone who reads this on a regular basis, this should be the last time I carry on about this in any long-form fashion, but I need to see this laid out in front of me to get any kind of...

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See? When I love, I love hard... It's not small, and it can happen quick. It burns white hot... And it wants to get inside of you. Inside of your heart, inside of your mind, inside of your so...

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You know, when someone keeps telling you something over and over at some point you should really just fucking listen... That's it, that's all... I should have something else to write about her...

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It starts by triggering her, unintentionally of course, but some damage was done anyway. And then she shuts you out again for the second time in about a month but this time it's not earth-s...

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There's so many things I've written down here and I've deleted them all. I have no emotion left... Or whatever's there.. I don't want to share it  I have no trust left.. or whatever's ther...

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Pain Never goes away  It sits and waits  Like an old friend  In my muscles, in my soul  Can you take it away? Put your hands on me please?  Let me feel just for a moment what it's like ...

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These streets, they don't wonder They don't need an explanation They carry the hum of an entire city on their back And they're the first to feel the cracks The first to feel the blood drip d...

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