Entries 15
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Enough
I want so badly for this to just be enough, you know? I smile and laugh and drink. But there's something in me that opens up and swallows all of this and keeps demanding more. I can't be satisfi...
The norm
The one thing I am afraid of, if I'm afraid of anything at all, is the fact that one day, 15 years from now, I will wake up and realize I have been living an average life. An average house, in an...
20 years
I'm not going to be the girl you marry, but I'll be the girl you'll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife, who fakes her orgasms to make you feel b...
accomplishments
sometimes people who are sad dont always need the “it gets better talk” sometimes people just want to hear “you are sad, you are trying your best, and it’s okay. you’re okay and you’re alive and...
reasons
We met at the wrong time. Thats what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we'll meet in a coffee shop in a far away city somewhere and we could give it another shot. But ...
sick
Its 3:09 in the morning and I feel sick to my stomach. A slight movement and I think I am going to vomit. Sick with the feeling that I might lose the guy I am in love with. So in love it becomes ...
crowded rooms
I wonder whose arms I would run and fall into if I were drunk in a room with everyone I have ever loved.
prosebox
Last night my friend that I have known since elementary school texted me. I have not seen him since middle school, but we have always been close. I always knew him to be the cool kid that everyon...
*deletes existence*
Around 5am this morning I decided that I had enough and that I was going to commit suicide. Really do it this time. Not like I have in the past, but to make sure there would be no possible way I ...
.
Its 7 in the morning and I'm not so sure I want to live anymore. The fact that I slit my wrists was thrown back in my face by my brother, And my mother wiped her hands of me for good. 7 in the...
5:24am // 10:50pm
All I wanted was for you to wake up in the middle of the night and call me saying you love me. But I couldn't even get that in a drunk text.
distant
I can not acknowledge the fact that we might not only be psychically distant, but emotional as well. To make light of this would be to recognize that it is real, and my heart will not be able to ...
Runaway
One day I will become so sick of this town, of these people that I will just leave. No warning, no notice, no indication of where I have gone. I will leave everything behind, family, friends, eve...
writing vs art
Most of the time I spend wishing for the ability to draw. To create powerful images with the stroke of my hand. To be able to bring tears to someone's eyes because they are hit strongly with the ...
The ending of an unfinished chapter
I stumbled upon Open Diary when i was looking for ways to commit suicide. I like to think that it was God that led me there because it did save my life. And although i was only apart of the commu...
