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Yesterday was the saddest day of my adult life.
Hi future J, I travelled on Saturday to surprise a childhood friend, G. I had not been as excited about anything in my life as I was on that day. It felt like I was doing the most wonderful th...
Day One, again!
I don’t want to talk too much. Let’s call this ‘day one’. I feel something is changing in my life and I can’t pinpoint what it is, but I feel it is something good. Maybe the thing has alread...
chatGPT's wisdom
I copy my diary entries and send them to ChatGPT. Today I asked it to review all I’ve posted (all 11 of them) and provide some advice. I said: Respond like you’re the wisest person in the wo...
Can I keep a habit?
My longest habit is procrastination. Does that count? Who am I kidding? my longest habit is masturbation. I’ve spent almost half my life on that. I will never know how much better and more enjoy...
Dragging Myself Along
This writing is supposed to be daily. I’m supposed to spend a few minutes writing about my day, how I feel, what I plan to do. There are no stakes here, nobody is watching; nobody here knows me;...
I don't want this
Hi Future me, There’s something that I learnt by mistake a few years ago. One time I wanted to make a decision quickly and i just count down from 5 to 1 and moved immediately. It always worked...
2 weeks later
I feel like a total failure, a weakling. I’ve failed in everything I have planned, consistently for 2 weeks. But I’m back here. But am I back? The fact that Successful Joshua exists in my fu...
Hmmm
Hi Josh, I cried all night. Why do I always feel betrayed? Why don’t I have people that can stand by me. Maybe asking for selfless friends is too much, but why can’t people in my life just rec...
5 days Streak
This is unbelievable. 5 days of doing what I say I will do! We continue like this and soon it will be a lie to call myself ‘unstable’ or ‘weakly willed’. But there are still very many things ...
Another week
Hi Future Josh, I got your message yesterday. Sounds like important information, but I’m not looking into it now. I’m also not going to respond to that now because it’s already 12:03 and I hav...
I Feel Great!
Hi Future Josh, I completed 100% of my tasks yesterday, and even more. I spent 8 hours working (instead of 5); completed and sent the 3 papers to Selam; edited and sent Rose’s paper; and comple...
1st Streak
Hi Future Josh, This is the 3 day of these entries, even though this is 4th day since I started. I’m kind of proud that I’m doing 2 days in a row now. 3 days will be nice. Did I do that? Is th...
Late, but who is surprised?
Not me. Hi Future Josh, I didn’t post yesterday and even today I’m late. How did this even happen? What exactly is wrong with me? and why does it take too long to just write my own thoug...
Day One
Hi Future Joshua, I seriously don’t know what to say. To think that you’re reading this when you have about 500 consecutive days of writing in this journal. How did you get there exactly? Beca...
Book Description
Hey there, Future Me (and anyone else who’s somehow stumbled onto this mess),
Welcome to what I’m calling the “Diary of a Would-Be Success.” It’s basically me, Present Joshua, writing letters to Future Joshua, who’s out there somewhere, killing it in life (at least, I hope you are). Right now, though, things are… let’s just say, not great. I’m kind of floundering, making mistakes, and figuring out this whole “life and destiny” thing as I go along.
Just the idea that we actually did succeed in the future seems like a far-fetched dream (maybe a nightmare - I’ve failed so much that I don’t know who I’ll be if I’m actually succeeding in stuff).
Anyway, this blog is my way of documenting that struggle—the good, the bad, and the seriously confusing.
By the end of every week, I receive a letter from my future self responding to the letters from the week. That’s in a different blog “Notes from the Finish Line.”
I’m hoping that by the time you’re reading this, everything I’m going through now will make sense, and you’ll have all the answers I’m desperately searching for. Or at least, you’ll have figured out how to fake it convincingly.
For now, it’s just me, trying to make it through each day, one awkward, unsure step at a time. So, if you’re reading this and you’re not Future Joshua, welcome to the chaos. Maybe you’ll find something in here that resonates with your own journey. Or maybe you’ll just enjoy the train wrecks that leads to a lucky success. Either way, glad to have you here.
Here’s to the struggle—and hopefully, the success that follows.
See you around,
Present Joshua
