Entries 15
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Ode to the Ex (totally non-bitter version)
You’re really not as eloquent, Artistic, Bright or skilled, As the person that you see in you, You’ll never be fulfilled. You’ll keep lying as your soul is dying, Day by wretched day, But your ...
Unreserved
Bags are not people. Bus seats are meant for people. You paid for one seat.
Lie Berries
Please learn how to speak. It is pronounced “library”. You’re saying it wrong.
The Wrong Way To Do Toothpaste
Squeezed from the middle. Not the way gods intended. The end should be first.
Time to Forget
Unsure of the time. A quick glance at the wristwatch. Didn’t take it in.
Milking It
Cornflakes in a bowl, Covered in rancid half-cheese. Smell test forgotten.
Hidden Marvels
No more Punisher. Luke Cage and Iron fist… Gone. Netflix seems empty.
Missing The Point
Insufficient friction in my fingers was the cause, Despite my grip the pencil slipped And fell onto the floor. I cried and howled and wept and wailed, And clutched the air in vain, But downwards ...
Ketchup Labours
Tap tap tap, tap tap. Taptaptap. Taptap. Tap. Tap. Tap tap tap tap splat.
Lament of the Bus Traveller
Ticket prices rise. Burning petrol and money. Cramming people in. Twenty pence more, now! Mad, furious passengers! Seething in silence.
Boiler on the Blink
Howling with wild rage! Bitter tears for British Gas! Room’s a bit chilly.
Ode to Shrinkflation
It’s not because my hands have grown, Or I’m remembering wrong. Much more to pay, much less to own! Where has the chocolate gone? It used to be about the size Of my entire palm! They’ve shrunk th...
On Keeping A Cool Head
Soft pillows too warm, Turned them over, but no joy. No face refreshment.
Which switch is which?
Two switches for hall, One downstairs and one upstairs, Toggled off when on.
Crying While I Wipe
Over, not under! Soft sheets of paper, hung wrong! Toilet trip ruined.
Book Description
Terribly written Poems and Haikus about life’s trivial annoyances
