Entries 1,596
Page 53 of 64
Time & Space
Oh Today I’m just a drop of water and I’m running down a mountainside. Come tomorrow I’ll be in the ocean. I’ll be rising with the morning tide. -Gabrielle Aplin I’m feeling existential today. I...
Standing in the way of control
I was feeling pretty good yesterday. Miranda made it into town and she got to see her support system. It’s not been easy for her to have anything of her own because of her boyfriend’s disease. Hi...
Bubbles
Mood Forecast: Bubbly with a chance of shade. I’m feeling great. I’m really addicted to this high vibration. I hate when I lose it. It’s such a long way down now. It’s like I’m excited instead of...
Move?
Hetal is moving to Ontario on the 30th. I am planning a little goodbye party for her. She really wants to take me with her. She would totally make it so easy too. She’s probably already hired a m...
Holistically Speaking 1122
I am vibrating at the lowest of frequencies. Shame and fear. I am such an idiot. I keep talking about a lawyer and it didn’t even cross my mind that I am going to have to pay that lawyer. I was o...
Can't Let It Go
I dreamt about my old work again. Thus, I woke up thinking about it all and it actually feels like a fresh wound. It’s been seven months. Learning that Mel lost her job made me feel dirty. I’m no...
Cheerleader
A life coach. That is what I could use right now. I could use somebody on my side right now as I can’t seem to get up the nerve to take any form of action in my life. It’s been seven months now s...
Finally Some Content.
I feel great I feel amazing just like I did on Saturday and now I know it is because I went out and interacted with another human being so it is clear that I need to get out more. Brucey and I fi...
The Heart Knows The Score
Put your hands on your chest and over your heart. Visualize the kind of person that you want to be. Ask your heart what beliefs you have that are in the way of becoming that person. Your heart wi...
Breakthrough or Breakdown
Basically I can’t tell if I am on the brink of having a breakthrough or if I am on the brink of having a breakdown. Internally, I didn’t realize how constipated my brain was. How cluttered it all...
Self-Partnered
Last night I dreamt that I was standing at a beach in Australia. I did not tell anybody that I ran away from home. The dream ended with me walking around an apartment like Lisa Loeb but I was sin...
Beliefs
After my entry yesterday I did what I do best, I pretended that pain isn’t happening to me. After I reckoned with what is hurting me I failed to rumble with it. Today though! I woke up prepared, ...
Rumbling
I woke up feeling half decent. Yesterday evening I was flustered and stressed about doing something that I did not want to do, look at my finances. It was a couple of hours with high anxiety unti...
Affirm
I woke up and had that brief moment of peace for the first time in months. That moment before my mind floods my conscious with the day to day thoughts. I wish I would never wake up again was my r...
The Hurt That Shaped Me? (Trigger Warning)
I can’t even get through one page in the book that I am reading, Rising Strong by Brene Brown. I can’t tame my thoughts. What is my hurt? What is the hurt that I am hiding from? What did I bury f...
Results
I met my new doctor today. He’s a fucking sweetheart. I can’t with him. He’s like a big jolly Johnathan Van Ness. On his desk, he had a little rainbow unicorn shrine moment. It was a rainbow teat...
Forward
I’m doing another round on Indeed. This time I actually threw my resume around a bit. Originally I did not want a manager position of any kind but that’s all that I barely qualify for that pays a...
Emotion Phobic
This morning, as I tried to pick up where I left off in Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong I realized that I had to start that book from the beginning. It took me two and a half hours to get throug...
Ermagerd
As I finally have some time and space to myself today I got to let my guard down and see what emotions wanted to come through. I’m jacked up and busted folks. I’m so irrevocably broken and desper...
Reality Check
I am supposed to be conquering my morning routine, which I am not failing miserably at I just feel like I woke up with a hangover. This happened yesterday also. I stopped drinking days ago so I d...
Meditation, Medication?
My search on how to find answers seems to point to meditation. I really don’t want to be that hippie vegan who meditates and collects healing crystals. Hi amethyst, lupus and quartz on my shelf a...
Sideways
My anxiety has been unreasonably high today. Since that damn wedding from a few weeks ago actually. I’ll disown the next friend that sends me a wedding invitation. It’s too fucking stressful for ...
TOMmorrow
I am trying to outsmart myself. To outsmart my procrastination. Yesterday, on my computer I split my screen between two websites. One is the page where I upload my resume and the other is my bank...
Screamer
Last night while I had the house to myself I did something that I haven’t done since I was a preteen. I screamed. I screamed a lot. I screamed at everything. I screamed so hard that I could feel ...
Balance
I’m not in control of my anxiety & depression as I once thought. I inadvertently starved myself yesterday. I then intentionally ate something that I knew was going to make me feel nauseous to...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently