Entries 1,595
Page 25 of 64
Ethos
I did not sleep well again last night. I have not had a good night’s sleep in weeks. Not since I quit coffee but I don’t think that this is because of me quitting caffeine. My body is expressing ...
First Day Was Not The Moment
I had my first physics class yesterday and don’t have a good feeling about it. My first impression of my teacher is not so good. He doesn’t seem to be very structured. Perhaps I was spoiled by my...
Not Over Things
I’ve had a lot of rest the last two days. I feel like I have been in procrastination mode without anything to be procrastinating from. What am I avoiding? I committed to doing nothing for a chang...
Financial Abuse the Sequel
I finally got around to going over my budget and finances. In November Toni, my roommate, arbitrarily decided that she will take on rent in full and I will cover the cost of everything else. I on...
Bizzare Observations
I’m not too keen on polarizing with strangers on the internet when it comes to my philosophies. It doesn’t go anywhere because we’re all just serving our egos. It’s easy to commit to our own narc...
In This Shirt
I’m a little amused that I created a bit of a frantic morning for my roommate. On top of all the ways she is dependent on me, she uses me as her alarm clock. She can’t figure out how to use her p...
Miss Thing [Quick Rant]
I almost chose violence with my roommate. Ok, not actually. It took a conscious effort to not pick her up off the counter and put her in a playpen. I was making curries for dinner, it was less t...
Why I Always Whining?
I somehow missed the nice words of encouragement from my teacher on Teams. She said I should be proud of myself. She appreciated my dedication to studying and my amazing summary cards and how I w...
Mad Dream
I can be a little out of touch at times. After I wrote my bitter entry the other day I remembered how heavy my depression can be. Rare as it is, it is suffering. Then I have a humbling epiphany a...
Sucking at Life is Selfish
Anger is not an easy one to process for me. I held it in all day yesterday. I can feel it bubbling up to the surface again today. There was no real trigger. I am angry with myself and I am very c...
Derp
I can finally lay around and eat breads and desserts and get all fat and sassy without feeling like I should be studying because my class is over. Then on the sixth, I start physics. I am already...
Final
I’m over 24hrs on my fast. I suspect that I am in ketosis because my appetite is gone. I will see how long I can keep this up today. If I can last until tomorrow that would be great. I do have my...
Bottled Up
My patience is as thin as I am since I quit coffee. I couldn’t stomach witnessing Linda stand around, distracting others instead of working. I called her out and she told me that I’m not the boss...
Vent
What we don’t like about others is what we don’t like about ourselves. I am conscious of this fact but I still struggle to recognize when I am doing it. Today, I am rumbling with my procrastinati...
Mentally Stimulated
I don’t like to let my social anxiety win. The bonfire last night was a swell time. Adam invited a bunch of us from work. I finally got to meet Adam’s fiance. Varion showed up as well. He used to...
Withdrawal
Today is day three without coffee. It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I only got withdrawal headaches on day two. I thought I would fall apart at work but that is not the case. I don’t hav...
Mindful Depression
I had another depression attack today. I understand that when I enter one paradigm my mind will grieve the old one. Those belief structures have to die. Paradigm is a strong word but if my realit...
Quests
I bit the bullet and tackled the things that I have been avoiding. Letting it become so dreadful that it generates anxiety and depression is basically self-harm at this point. To even begin advan...
Fucking Bullshit PB Fails
We don’t always come on to Prosebox when we are deep in thought or deep in our feelings but when we do… and then something goes wrong and we lose everything that we spent the last hour writing on...
Bromance
The work Christmas party was pretty good I must say. Everybody was dressed so formally. They looked amazing. The prizes were pretty good as well. The food was alright but I have too many dietary ...
Blues Clues
I need to retrace my thoughts, so to speak. My depression is bubbling up again. I spent the whole day looking forward to the Christmas function that my work is having tonight. I planned my weeken...
What Goes Around
Depression hit me hard yesterday. I could barely get out of bed. It humbled me a bit. I forgot how heavy this could get. I was imagining this weight in other people’s shoes and it gave me some pe...
Weird Spaces
I wrote about a name that I heard over a month ago. One that I am hesitant to say out loud. It’s a beautiful name and it echoes in my mind frequently. Since then, I have been manifesting quite a ...
Astrononsense
Colour me triggered. I learned about the sidereal birth charts and so I checked mine out and it gives me an atrocious birth chart. Sagittarius Sun? Disgust. I don’t have the toxic optimism and wa...
It's My Party I'll Cry If I Want To
My old-school slumber party was a success on Saturday. In my previous entry, I mentioned how I got stuck between a rock and a hard place because my roommate had a bit of a cough. When I explained...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently