How is it that someone can be so beautiful? That I can look at him and see everything that was, and will never be.
He came home today. And the first thing I noticed was that pang, that instinct to just want to run and hold him. Every step he took I just wanted to watch him.
My whole life is changing. I allowed myself to get comfortable and feel safe. I allowed myself to finally trust again.
I feel like that teenage girl again, lying on the floor wandering how my shattered glass heart...no not shattered but ground into powder heart could ever be made whole again.
I feel like only dust is left. And those pieces dig into my soul and are tearing it apart.
I love him still. I'm in love with him still. And all I can do is look.
I will never get to have his child.
I feel like nothing.

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