Theres something oddly comforting abput sitting here, watching her and Tyson lay in my bed. Tyson didnt get along with…let me rephrase that, he didnt get along with Kota as well as I thought he would, though he and Tux seem fine. Itll be a process to get them intermingled again.
We didnt see Christmas lights but we hang out at Jellys for a little while, come back have dinner, movies, and fooled around. Passed out....well tried to, once the T.v turned off my mind of course went wild. Curious if she still talks to him, bc he damn sure likes every one of her posts, and if some girl I was talking to, told me we were just friends, and not talking to me any more…I wouldnt be liking her pictures and posts. Across multiple social media.
So…I hate to say it, I know she is still speaking with him, and when i ask is she going to lie....and if so....I really have to let this go. The fact she wouldnt have that level of respect for me, even after mentioning it to her, to stop communicating with him, it means shes keeping him around for something, and really doesnt want this to whole heartedly to work out. I have previously mentioned that if I found out, it would be a deal breaker.
She just asked if I was coming back to bed, I wanted to say no, I cant sleep, I cant cuddle her, I couldnt last night. I want to ask, but I know shes going to flip shit, and that isnt fair either. She was talking to him days before we statted talking opening his snaps minutes before she sucked my dick…her message that they were just friends was even sketchy with smiley faces and shit…weird when youre telling someone yall are just friends…
I know I know, I said Id let it go, but its eating away at me, and the last time this happened I was right. Id rather let it go now, before it continued on, and weeks from now I found put they were still speaking. A ball forms in my throat…its like I know whats there, I know whats going to happen....it breaks my heart, then it shatters it to know, she would, and had felt the same when I did it, so why would she do it, and claim to want to fix it....just to do this all over again in a year? Or think Id just let this thing go between them?
Either way. Whats meant to happen, will happen. Ill live either way…
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