Happy Tuesday to you all! Hope your all having a wonderful week so far. I didn’t get any responses on my last 2 entries. However, I still left them up in case anyone gets confused. I’m going to be talking about my parents again today. This may be a shorter entry, but this one is raw and brutal.
Let’s fast forward to when I was about 6 years old. Now sense then my mom had already had my brother DC, and was on her second marriage. My mom second marriage was abusive. He would beat me if I didn’t clean up after my brother. He would beat me if he yelled at me, and I threaten to tell my mom. Well my best friend at the time her name is KK her mom Cindy would take me to school. One morning I showed up I had bruises all over me, and fresh new bruises that were going to form. Cindy took one look at me and then him. She told him if he ever put his hands on me again she would put him in his grave. I was petrified.
However, all of this just wasn’t enough. Like always I was going to my dads every other weekend, and was starting to have less nightmares. One weekend I was with my dad and I spent the night. Well when I woke up I was in my dads tool room. My dad kept a bed in this room because he was going to turn it into Chris’s (my brother) room. As I awaken I felt hands touching me in places my dad shouldn’t be touching. I remember my dad asked me if I liked it and if it felt good. I told him no and to stop, but he just kept going.... I was raped by my father that night. When I asked him why he got me out of bed he said I was crying. Me crying was a lie because every time I had nightmares I woke up.
I didn’t tell my mom until I was 17, because I didn’t understand what had happened! I was scared. I confronted my dad about it when I was 18-19 years old. I finally admitted to him I knew what he had did to me, and of course he denied the accusation. However, in upcoming entries my dad has done some crazy things to prove that he is capable of doing such things as this one. How did I deal with it? I haven’t yet. I can’t watch brutal movies that have stuff like this in it. I hate to hear people talking about. I battle with myself daily if I should have told my mom sooner. I wondered if my mom would have ever believed me, because she was IN LOVE with my dad. I’m still trying to figure it all out. At the end of the day I know I am a SURVIVOR!
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