This comes as no surprise that often, when I begin such things it is due to the pain of the moment. Though this moment lingers and will continue to do so for some time.
It's been forever since I've been alone.
My days and nights filled with laughter, love, and knowing that the feeling would never end.
But it has. And it wasn't slow. It was sudden and while there had been a warning, I know that I allowed myself to pretend that it wasn't going to happen. It couldn't happen. Not to us. We were "perfect". We inspired others, we were inspiration for how things should be.
It's funny what you don't see. What isn't said. What wasn't known. 10 years can fly by so quickly when you're in denial. You can live life like love longs to last (nice alliteration).
He's leaving me. No... that's not correct and you know it.
Then he left me a long time ago. And what he left me was like a homunculus pretending day in and out, going through the same motions over and over while the real one let go of me. He had so much time to move away from us. He was able to deal with the pain years before I even knew there was trouble. Come off it, you knew. You were just content to play along.
And I was. But now that's changed. I have the word Divorce on my lips, and it is like swallowing poison. Best drink it in deep and quickly, you've been sipping way too long.
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