Unsure in Random_Thoughts

Sometimes you look at the people around you and you are still unsure if you are alone or not. The way you feel inside eats you alive, it feels like you have no control over anything as your mind runs rapid with thoughts of hate and disgust. Do they like you, think of you as a friend tolerate you even if you are the most annoying useless piece of garbage in their eyes. Do they speak behind your back and say that you are a attention whore who can’t do anything right and doesn’t belong anywhere? Do they truly actually dislike you and wish you didn’t exist?
The mind is a absolute horrifying place to be trapped in even tho you smile on the outside, those words going through the dept of your brain scares the living crap out of you.Most of the times you just wish the voices can shut up and go away, but they just stay there and get worse and speak worse things as time goes by.
You see the people looking at you and they might just be looking at nothing, but those voices in your mind tells you they think that you are the ugliest person alive and how did you come into existence.
You just feel defeated at the end of each day not knowing what to believe anymore.
Everyday you just get more and more tired and feel like you can’t do anything right so why do anything at all.
You just get utterly to the point that you can’t do anything at all because you have no motivation.
so unsure about existence and if you are actually welcome in this life or not.
It just gets hard. Hard to take a breath and hard to walk. Hard to talk and hard to smile.