i am currently in my 2nd semester of grad school (should be finished in december!!!) and i am taking a class called research in music education. we've already covered historical research and have headed into statistics, which will be the bulk of the class. just my favorite topic! (NO WAY...i HATE math...so much!)
in my undergrad, i took statistics. basically, i "learned" everything from a CD rom (yeah, remember those?) and my "professor" didnt teach anything. his only lesson was on box plots. now, he was russian, so imagine him saying this with a thick, russian accent. (no joke, exactly what he said)
draws box plot on board "this is box plot." points to line in box plot "this is median." sits down
yup...that was my introduction to statistics. this class is much harder, but at least things are being explained. im still not happy about the class. the one thing that gets me is the speed. im still copying down the numbers and hes punching them into formulas. its like "slow down! i cant write any faster!" but everyone else seems to be up to speed, so i dont say anything. i also need to figure out which x means what. there are about 3 or 4 different x's that i need to know and its confusing. why couldnt they have been different letters? sigh the worst part about this class...its shit i actually need to know now that im a teacher. it has to do with grade computations and converting things to percentages and showing graphs of student progress and how to figure out different computations for future research i will most likely be doing (even though i desperately do not want to!) im falling back into some bad habits about math.
- i half listen to whats going on. im slightly confuse because things are going fast, i didnt quite catch what he said, and i wasnt fully listening in the first place.
- because im slightly confused and need to take a breath, i feel like im going to cry.
- im anxious with all the jargen on the board, which also makes me want to cry out of frustration.
- i start to tune things out because im disinterested.
i had a realization tonight that what im doing is probably what some of my students are doing and i need to approach things in a slightly different way. i need to make certain things more fun, especially in the afternoons when the kids are back from lunch and they need to be a little crazier.
sigh oh the life of a teacher!
i have to say, i had an AMAZING teaching day yesterday. i had moments where i had an entire class engaged and doing exactly what i wanted them to do, even the problem kids. that solidified that i can do this and i want to do this and validated my hard work.
tomorrow i need to go to the office to get more music. and talk to my boss about taking a day off for doctors appointments. and ask if he spoke to my principal about my last day of teaching for the year. (for those who might not know, i am a music teacher at an elementary school. i am not hired by the school, however. im hired through an organization called education through music -check us out!- that implements/funds music programs in public, inner city schools. im like a subcontractor. ETM pays me, not my school. this also means i have like 5 bosses...its a little nuts!)
just heard fiance man come home. need to grab him to look over the wedding invitations my sister has been working on and to get everything together to hand in our apartment application. could i be doing more this year? seriously...
PB, its been real (still working on this sign off...)
~mana~
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