I’m 13weeks1day and I am really struggling. I don’t know what my problem is but I just can’t seem to get it together. I know hormonal changes is a part of pregnancy, but how I’ve been feeling is beyond just “crazy pregnancy hormones.” Like, I literally have no motivation to do anything. I dread going to a job a use to love; all the domestic duties have pretty much fallen on Bradley as I don’t cook or clean. I am so irritable and everything just sets me off. I absolutely can not stand to be touched - I haven’t been intimate with Bradley in over two weeks and I don’t even want to be touched by my kids. I don’t want to talk to anyone and have pretty much withdrawn from every social situation, including just texts from friends or family. I go to bed early and dread waking up. I have really poor concentration and just can’t seem to get it together. I’m gaining too much weight because I am eating non-stop, and not for satiety, just to make myself feel better.
I did have post-partum depression with Shiloh, and this does feel very similar - but worse. I don’t get it. I haven’t had anything triggering or traumatic happen. Literally, everything is going good. And yet, I have this dark cloud over me, suffocating me. I can’t snap out of it. I can’t even “fake it till I make it” right now. I just want to curl into the fetal position in my bed and be left alone.
Fortunately I do have an OB appointment today and I will address these issues with her this afternoon. Hopefully there is something pregnancy-safe I can take that will get everything is check. I hate feeling like this. I hate putting my family through this. I just want to be normal again and enjoy this pregnancy I prayed so had to get.
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