Sitting Shiva in General
- Sept. 27, 2019, 2:23 a.m.
- |
- Public
I’m not Jewish. But I think two weeks is long enough for me to stack my shit back up and start stopping.
Around this time two weeks ago one of the best friends I have ever had killed herself. We had a brief conversation on Sunday – she would usually call me on Sunday mornings when she knew I was watching the tedious drivel of the Sunday Morning News Shows and she was on the job.
Later in the week I asked her to take a look at an assignment for my MFA-514 class. She did and sent feedback.
Saturday my cell phone was ringing, but I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t answer. Sunday I saw the voice mails. A friend of hers I didn’t know. With not good news.
Since then I stay very busy with not thinking jobs. I am taking apart the elliptical so I can move it upstairs. I mow my lawn every other day. All of my laundry is cleaned and folded and put away. I am taking my summer garden down as the nights get colder. I just bleached the shit out of my kitchen floor after I realized that wasn’t marbling but dirt.
Tomorrow, maintenance dude who is far more impressed by the helmet on my bookcase than he should be will take a gander at the fridge and get me a new one. I’ve been in this apartment for almost 8 years. By far the longest I have ever live in a single place in my life.
I figure that if rent has gone up my 30% in that time, everything in this apartment should be in perfect working order. Next is a new dishwasher. But one thing at a time.
I’ve been doing the bare minimum regarding classwork. I am afraid of what will come spilling out if I let myself go.
It is the 26th of September of my 57th year. I’m healthy, if not for that pesky ascending aortic aneurysm. The Keto thing really works – I’m hanging at 218, my post-high school fighting weight. I’m walking 8-10K steps a day. 10.4K steps for me is 5 miles.
In a couple of weeks I am driving down to Pittsburg to visit an old shipmate and spend the night. Then two more days down to Texas to visit my son and grandson for a long weekend. Plan was I would head to Pima AZ next. Not much purpose in that now.
I knew things were difficult. I didn’t know they were that difficult.
You were such magic, always knowing what to say. Was there anything I could have said?
Okay, sweet girl. Rest in peace. I am going to come out of sad now and do some writing.
I know you are smiling down. Because that is just who you are,
Last updated September 27, 2019
DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ September 27, 2019
So sorry about your friend.
Shipmate? Navy? My husband is submarine vet.
Duke DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ September 27, 2019
Yep, Navy. We went through flight school together.
Jinn ⋅ September 27, 2019
:-) . Remembering her keeps her alive in your heart . She would not want you to be just sad .
woman in the moon ⋅ September 27, 2019
tYesterday in front of the VA was a car with Illinois plates. Front plate holder said Combat Veteran. Rear plate holder had a bar of medals cross the top. The row of cars included a Mercedes, a Lincoln and a Cadillac. Might have been the doctors.
At my other cancer visit there was a history section in the Gundersen clinic. Along with Karsh of Ottawa portraits of the founding family's sons - circa 1970, were photos of the progress throughout the years, including a major addition in the 1930s (bad times) when the docs sometimes parked their cars in front of the new addition to make business look better.
No relation to the VA, just pieces of life.
Telstar ⋅ September 29, 2019
When good friends are gone, the memory of them stays.
I think of my friend who died on September 1 every day. I sometimes wish I could forget him - but I'm not really sure I want to.