So, I keep forgetting I have a new site to write at. It's kind of exciting, even if it's not right at the forward part of my brain just yet. :-)
So lately I have been hanging out with a new friend, Amy. She is the mom of a girl in Jonathan's class at school, and I have to admit I completely love both of them. Even her husband John is cool, too. And the daughter, I'll just call her B here, she is the sweetest thing, ever. If I had a daughter, I think I'd want one just like B. She is a total tom-boy, and I wonder if she'll maybe even be transgender when she grows up...she very much wants to be a boy, and has always said that, apparently, even when she was as young as 3. But I adore her, and if that's what she does end up choosing, I somehow want to support her 100%...I worry that not enough people will. I guess she's had plenty of problems with bullying, even at such a small and private school, and I can imagine it may only get worse. But I love her for being strong and accepting that, but staying true to who she is, even at 8 years old. She's awesome.
Anyway, her mom & I went shopping together yesterday, and have been having lunch at a nice "fancy" restaurant at least once per week...it's been cool getting to know someone new...I very, very rarely let anyone get close to me. We are a lot alike, it seems, and she keeps telling me that I remind her of herself, only super tough and "bad-ass". I'm not really sure what that means, but I do know she meant it as a compliment. I don't ever view myself as tough, but it felt kind of cool thinking someone else would. Ron said maybe she just meant that I'm so negative so it seems like I'm tougher than I am. Jee, thanks.
I had a big fight with my friend, Laurie. She is one of 2 people I had been friends with since we were babies. The other did horrible things a couple of years ago and I cut all ties with her. Now Laurie, her daughter Jenna goes to the same school Jonathan is at, and Jonathan has grown up with her, like Laurie & I did. So I've always considered Laurie to be one of my "best" friends, or BFF if you will. Well, Jenna apparently doesn't view Jonathan as her friend, period. Let alone "best" friend. So it has been rough for Jonathan...they started out the year (same grade/class) together, and she showed him the ropes, so to speak. Then she started ignoring him and even being mean to him, calling him weird or things like that. He is admittedly, over sensitive, but these things really hurt him when she'd do them and I'd mention occasionally to Laurie about them, although I never asked her to talk to Jenna except for the first time it happened. So about a week or so ago, Laurie & I got into an argument. I guess I mentioned at some point that it sucks because even though I realize Jonathan is overly sensitive to things, he considers Jenna a best friend and for her to treat him one way all their life, and then now in front of her little girl friends (some of whom are downright awful, mean to all the kids, bullies in the making I'm sure) she treats him totally differently. It's confusing to him. Well Laurie stops me and goes, "wait, what makes you or Jonathan feel that Jenna & Jonathan are best friends??" And I'm like, what? They've grown up together, she comes to almost every one of his bday parties, they spend most summers together at the pool, etc. She goes, "it's not like they spend THAT much time together". Okay, well maybe not. But since when is that what makes someone a bff??? By her definition, she & I are not friends I guess, because we have gone a year or two from time to time with little to no speaking to one another, and then pick up right where we left off once we do start seeing each other again, like this year being at the same school.
I don't know. I am just really not happy with her. I could give a shit if she doesn't want to continue being friends, although that doesn't seem to be the case. But now she's hurting my son, and encouraging her daughter to do the same, which really sucks. I've tried to have Jonathan just completely ignore and forget about Jenna, and told him sometimes if you ignore a girl it makes her like you that much more....and I've also explained to him that she's a girl, and around this age girls start to change and be really into different things. But I can tell he's still hurt by it. I can understand. I hurt so badly for a long time after losing my other "bff from birth". She did things that were unforgivable, and yet I still wanted to call her up and start over somehow, for...well, even now I often feel sad.
I guess it's just life, and life can suck hard sometimes. But I wish it could be more simple, and especially so for my son. I know he has to form his own life, and his own friends, but sometimes it's hard standing on the sidelines and letting them fall or get hurt.
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