Things have gotten semi better. The "separation" lasted for like, point two seconds. I think when I'm mad it's easy to pinpoint all the flaw/bad qualities and forget why I fell in love with him and what an awesome father/husband he really is. So we've been doing a lot better. Although yesterday was an unwelcome reminder about the restrictions he faces.
This weekend was the annual azalea festival in my town. It's nothing special, but I have taken Cassidy every year. And every year I've been alone (or with my mom). So I was super excited this year to finally be able to go as a family, like normal people. We weren't even there for 30 minutes when we ran into his probation officer! Being at the festival wasn't against the rules for him, but every year it is held in a park, which he's not allowed to go to. So he freaked out and we all just left. And then I was really somber. Sunday is usually our "family" day that Cassidy and I spend at his house, but at that point I just wanted to be alone and worked on my homework.
Cassidy has been acting up lately. Not really acting up, just not doing stuff she's supposed to do, even after being told several times. It's really annoying. When I was her age (nine, almost ten), I set my alarm, got myself up for school, made my own breakfast and lunch, got my self dressed and ready and walked to the bus stop by myself in time to catch the bus. I have to wake her up, make her breakfast, and remind her constantly to brush her teeth. I also have to constantly remind her to take showers. It's mega frustrating. Like first of all, I shouldn't have to ask you to do these everyday tasks, but when I do tell you to do the, DO IT! Ughh, it's frustrating because I know if we were living with Bradley things would be so much different, and better. About two more weeks until the polygraph that could potentially change our whole lives (how many times have y'all heard that?)
In other news, this week is the last week for my Biology class. Thank God! It wasn't that hard, but VERY time consuming because it was a 9 week course, so it was twice as much work crammed into each week. I have a 96% in the class right now. My A&P class is still going, it's a 17 week course and I have a 96% in it too, it's not that hard. I start Chem 2 next week, which I am dreading bc chem 1 was hard as f. I hated it.
I dont know how the weight loss is going. I probably should've weighed myself before I started on the adipex so I could know how effective it is. It definitely has suppressed my appetite. I have to remember to eat. I LOVE food and have a hard time saying no. But since being on it I have avoided the festival food (mmm funnel cakes), pizza, and cheesecake. The only negative side effect is insomnia. When I started on the new BC and spironodlactone a month ago I started sleeping like a baby, I never felt better. But since starting this I have had many sleepless nights and have to resort to using sleeping pills. Otherwise I have no complaints. If it helps me loose weight then the sleepless nights are worth it. It is kinda unsettling to be on so many pills right now, I prefer a more natural approach to life. But, I def need the bc and spironodalctone because my hormones are ridiculously out of wack without it.
Ohhh, so since I have no friends and I am so desperate to have one, I've resorted to trying to reconnect with old ones. I mean really old ones. Like my old bff from 5th-9th grade. I pretty much lived at her house during all of our prepubescent and awkward teenage years, then she got a boyfriend when we entered high school and, well, you know how that goes. We hadn't seen each other since sophomore year because I moved to Missouri after that. So we've been texting, she lives in Tampa, and when I went to visit my brother last weekend I was super excited to see her. So I go over to her house and it was hella awkward. She has two young kids and lives with her mom, is unemployed, single. For one, I NEVER imagined her having kids and now I see why. I'm not really into parents cussing at their kids, but she just kept telling her 3 year old to "stop being so fucking annoying" and stuff like that. I can get easily annoyed by kids, but he was NOT being annoying. He was actually being pretty dang good, minding his own business and playing by himself. When he needed help using the bathroom she told him no. He can't reach the toilet to pee, so she told him to just pee in the shower. I guess this is a regular occurrence. It was crazy how different we turned out. She doesn't work and so her mom has to use her retirement plus working to cover all the expenses. I really can't imagine. Anyway so that was my desperate attempt at recapturing an old friendship so I could have a friend. Hah. I really need a life outside of work, school, and family. I feel in a rut but am too tired to get out of it lol.
This entry has been long and pointless, I am avoiding working. I like my job, I just wish I didn't have to work at all right now. I am tired of doing the trainings and the police officers looking at my like a piece of meat. Oh well, for $22/hour and working mostly from home, I guess I can't really complain.
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